2003/07/31
2003/07/30
*squeak* Yay, my book is finally shipping! I've been waiting for this book for -- quite literally -- ten years, and now it's shipping!
*dances around the room*
Booyeah! :)
I played my clarinet for a bit today. I'm proud; my embouchure is not nearly as loose as I'd thought it might be, although my muscles are fairly weak... I can't last nearly as long as I used to be able to. Ah well, maybe I'll get into practicing semi-regularly. Huh.
Anyhow, tomorrow is planning goodness for various people in the region. If you're up for joining in and haven't been contacted, feel free to call me; I'm thinking dinner somewhere west-endish, unless someone has a more exciting idea. :)
Off to send the email now and have a shower. Very tired. :(
*dances around the room*
Booyeah! :)
I played my clarinet for a bit today. I'm proud; my embouchure is not nearly as loose as I'd thought it might be, although my muscles are fairly weak... I can't last nearly as long as I used to be able to. Ah well, maybe I'll get into practicing semi-regularly. Huh.
Anyhow, tomorrow is planning goodness for various people in the region. If you're up for joining in and haven't been contacted, feel free to call me; I'm thinking dinner somewhere west-endish, unless someone has a more exciting idea. :)
Off to send the email now and have a shower. Very tired. :(
Urgh. Bloody construction on our house. Mom comes in to tell me she has Shadow locked up in her bedroom, then says I can go back to sleep. Thanks. :P
I think I did manage to get some more rest in, but some of the things they're doing down there are making the floor of the house vibrate; pretty tricky to sleep through that stuff.
Nothing too exciting. D and I watched a show at the IMAX theatre yesterday; I hadn't been there in years. In fact, the last show I saw there, if I'm not mistaken, was Plains of the Serengeti with Jay et al... which has led to our years of history of jokes about lions and their mating habits. For those not in the know, the movie explains that once a year, lions will mate more or less non-stop (they'll rest or eat for 20 minutes at a time, but that's about it) for four days straight. The boys were all, "four days straight!" I was trying to drive home the "once a year" aspect of it. Since then, every now and then Jay and I will give each other a gift or something that has to do with lions. :)
Anyhow, D and I watched the Stomp movie; it has members of Stomp travelling to various groups around the world and showing examples of their dance and music. It was pretty cool, but short -- 45 minutes long. I'd forgotten how cool IMAX could be. I think we were both a little hesitant at first, 'cause when they were showing the commercial and talking about how if you feel sick you should just close your eyes, the quality was pretty poor... but when we got to a trailer for the other movie we were thinking of seeing (Adrenaline Rush) and then our movie, it was pretty awesome.
We got back to his place and rented Shanghai Knights; I've seen Shanghai Noon, but he hadn't. Knights was fun, very many homages to old-style movies, and with semi-corny name references again (the first one had the "John Wayne? That's a terrible cowboy name!").
Poor Shadow's hiding under the bed, and her pupils are huge, but she's pretty willing to come out -- I just put my hand under the bed and she came to me, purring, pretty willlingly. What a cutie; I'm definitely going to miss her and Digger boatloads when I move out.
Been trying to figure out how to segue into things, or even if I want to bring it up... I dunno. Basically, after the movie the other night, E and I talked (his instigation), and he thought it would be best if we ended things, or put them on hiatus (not entirely sure which we agreed to do). So... all of my complaining about people not accepting me for what I was doing is somewhat for naught, as I am once again in a monogamous relationship, it would appear. This should make some people rather happy, I imagine. :P
And even that is only temporary. D's leaving for school in less than a month, so as Jay put it, come September, I'll be a single lady. I might even do as Markuk suggested once upon a time and try to stay single for six months; it would give me a chance to reconnect with friends and get accustomed to living alone, as well as reconnect with me and just enjoy being single and unfettered for awhile. That all said and done, how actually likely is it? Well, we'll see, I suppose. As a sidenote (which in my head is connected), it's certainly not going to be fun seeing E act the same way he always has (i.e., talking and flirting with everyone but me at work -- who he completely ignores, even when I'm working the till directly beside him), or hearing about all the ladies that D is dating when he leaves. No one said that being me was easy, and goodness knows I don't make it that way, ever, it seems.
For now, it's time to shower and hopefully look alert. I also want to get some breakfast, but I figure what with all the men climbing on the outside of the house, I'm better off to be dressed and clean before I impose my appearance on them. :) The fish appear content with their clean tanks, and Stick has already refreshed his little bubble nest. Must remember to get them new lily pads -- Dr. Seuss is the only one with a lily pad right now, and it had quite an impressive bubble nest underneath it yesterday. I was so proud. :)
I think I did manage to get some more rest in, but some of the things they're doing down there are making the floor of the house vibrate; pretty tricky to sleep through that stuff.
Nothing too exciting. D and I watched a show at the IMAX theatre yesterday; I hadn't been there in years. In fact, the last show I saw there, if I'm not mistaken, was Plains of the Serengeti with Jay et al... which has led to our years of history of jokes about lions and their mating habits. For those not in the know, the movie explains that once a year, lions will mate more or less non-stop (they'll rest or eat for 20 minutes at a time, but that's about it) for four days straight. The boys were all, "four days straight!" I was trying to drive home the "once a year" aspect of it. Since then, every now and then Jay and I will give each other a gift or something that has to do with lions. :)
Anyhow, D and I watched the Stomp movie; it has members of Stomp travelling to various groups around the world and showing examples of their dance and music. It was pretty cool, but short -- 45 minutes long. I'd forgotten how cool IMAX could be. I think we were both a little hesitant at first, 'cause when they were showing the commercial and talking about how if you feel sick you should just close your eyes, the quality was pretty poor... but when we got to a trailer for the other movie we were thinking of seeing (Adrenaline Rush) and then our movie, it was pretty awesome.
We got back to his place and rented Shanghai Knights; I've seen Shanghai Noon, but he hadn't. Knights was fun, very many homages to old-style movies, and with semi-corny name references again (the first one had the "John Wayne? That's a terrible cowboy name!").
Poor Shadow's hiding under the bed, and her pupils are huge, but she's pretty willing to come out -- I just put my hand under the bed and she came to me, purring, pretty willlingly. What a cutie; I'm definitely going to miss her and Digger boatloads when I move out.
Been trying to figure out how to segue into things, or even if I want to bring it up... I dunno. Basically, after the movie the other night, E and I talked (his instigation), and he thought it would be best if we ended things, or put them on hiatus (not entirely sure which we agreed to do). So... all of my complaining about people not accepting me for what I was doing is somewhat for naught, as I am once again in a monogamous relationship, it would appear. This should make some people rather happy, I imagine. :P
And even that is only temporary. D's leaving for school in less than a month, so as Jay put it, come September, I'll be a single lady. I might even do as Markuk suggested once upon a time and try to stay single for six months; it would give me a chance to reconnect with friends and get accustomed to living alone, as well as reconnect with me and just enjoy being single and unfettered for awhile. That all said and done, how actually likely is it? Well, we'll see, I suppose. As a sidenote (which in my head is connected), it's certainly not going to be fun seeing E act the same way he always has (i.e., talking and flirting with everyone but me at work -- who he completely ignores, even when I'm working the till directly beside him), or hearing about all the ladies that D is dating when he leaves. No one said that being me was easy, and goodness knows I don't make it that way, ever, it seems.
For now, it's time to shower and hopefully look alert. I also want to get some breakfast, but I figure what with all the men climbing on the outside of the house, I'm better off to be dressed and clean before I impose my appearance on them. :) The fish appear content with their clean tanks, and Stick has already refreshed his little bubble nest. Must remember to get them new lily pads -- Dr. Seuss is the only one with a lily pad right now, and it had quite an impressive bubble nest underneath it yesterday. I was so proud. :)
2003/07/29
Today was very much between the good day/bad day realm. I hung out with Ben (contrary to popular opinion, he is in fact alive and well), saw Tomb Raider 2 with E, and worked a bit.
That's the short version of everything, because I don't want to get into the extended version. Why? Because as of yet, on one field (a potential good), I have no idea what's going to happen; that will be found out in the morning, which would come faster if I were to actually go to bed.
On the bad field, I don't yet know how I feel, really. I don't know how to react or feel, and sure enough have come on the inevitable questions and the wonder if I should even bother to ask them. Needless to say, the potential good could be really good if it pans out (with some somewhat bad to it, too).
To quote a Buffy episode (no, I'm not loser enough to know which one, although I am loser enough to spend time on IMDB reading the quotes page for Buffy): Wow, could you vague that up some more for me?
Anyhow, the next few days will be muchly full of interesting. I will do some writing tomorrow and maybe some Buffy season 1 watching; Ben has also said I could borrow his Angel again, and perhaps this time I will actually make the time to watch it (and decide if I want to ask for it for my birthday, or just focus on acquiring Buffy seasons 2 and 3).
I've been trying to write stories the last few days, but I either don't have the time/muse, or whatever I write seems to be crap after a few short sentences. I'm hoping that reading through the classics will help me out, although sometimes it just seems to depress me; today I read Pygmalian, by George Bernard Shaw, and discovered that it ends completely opposite from what I thought. Made me wonder if Shaw was perhaps a wee bit mysogynistic, or if that was just my reaction to it.
I picked up an anthology of Gothic stories from the bookstore with Ben; I'm looking forward to perusing some of those. I think it's a book that I used as a reference on a paper I wrote in first year, which amuses me for some reason.
So, for now, I go to bed (late, as always). I'll let you know in the morning what's happening with the potential good, I'm sure; hell, for most of you you'll likely learn about that at the same time as you read this. For now, go check out Shawn's new hair and show him some love, and check out Whore's Boudoir and leave me some comments, and finally check out this site and drop some kids. Funny when they duck or start crying. :)
That's the short version of everything, because I don't want to get into the extended version. Why? Because as of yet, on one field (a potential good), I have no idea what's going to happen; that will be found out in the morning, which would come faster if I were to actually go to bed.
On the bad field, I don't yet know how I feel, really. I don't know how to react or feel, and sure enough have come on the inevitable questions and the wonder if I should even bother to ask them. Needless to say, the potential good could be really good if it pans out (with some somewhat bad to it, too).
To quote a Buffy episode (no, I'm not loser enough to know which one, although I am loser enough to spend time on IMDB reading the quotes page for Buffy): Wow, could you vague that up some more for me?
Anyhow, the next few days will be muchly full of interesting. I will do some writing tomorrow and maybe some Buffy season 1 watching; Ben has also said I could borrow his Angel again, and perhaps this time I will actually make the time to watch it (and decide if I want to ask for it for my birthday, or just focus on acquiring Buffy seasons 2 and 3).
I've been trying to write stories the last few days, but I either don't have the time/muse, or whatever I write seems to be crap after a few short sentences. I'm hoping that reading through the classics will help me out, although sometimes it just seems to depress me; today I read Pygmalian, by George Bernard Shaw, and discovered that it ends completely opposite from what I thought. Made me wonder if Shaw was perhaps a wee bit mysogynistic, or if that was just my reaction to it.
I picked up an anthology of Gothic stories from the bookstore with Ben; I'm looking forward to perusing some of those. I think it's a book that I used as a reference on a paper I wrote in first year, which amuses me for some reason.
So, for now, I go to bed (late, as always). I'll let you know in the morning what's happening with the potential good, I'm sure; hell, for most of you you'll likely learn about that at the same time as you read this. For now, go check out Shawn's new hair and show him some love, and check out Whore's Boudoir and leave me some comments, and finally check out this site and drop some kids. Funny when they duck or start crying. :)
2003/07/27
Two things: one, poor English correction from the mention of my dream... I don't actually have a tattoo on my arm. I have one on my left ankle (on the outside), but in my dream that same tattoo was on my right arm.
Second: Funny is when someone (say, Jay) tells you something, then forgets that he told you, then gets all paranoid when you mention it, thinking that you've been spying or talking to someone else. S'funny. :)
Second: Funny is when someone (say, Jay) tells you something, then forgets that he told you, then gets all paranoid when you mention it, thinking that you've been spying or talking to someone else. S'funny. :)
New article up (finally).
Oh yeah, and for a future column, to my male readers: what do you think are some of the things about having a penis/testicles/body hair/being male/whatever that women don't know about? Boner etiquette, washroom etiquette (yes, I know the urinal rules), talking about women, etc., etc., that we don't know about that maybe we ought to?
Oh yeah, and for a future column, to my male readers: what do you think are some of the things about having a penis/testicles/body hair/being male/whatever that women don't know about? Boner etiquette, washroom etiquette (yes, I know the urinal rules), talking about women, etc., etc., that we don't know about that maybe we ought to?
2003/07/26
Okay, so I'm all about the quizzes today... this one just struck me as funny, especially question number eight:
Yeah, you’re the wild, adventurous one.
Voted Most Likely To Have A Three-way by your sorority. And why not? Life’s too short to take it one cock at a time, right?
As long as nobody gets hurt, ain’t nothin’ wrong with it, no how. This does not, by any means, make you a slut.
In fact, if anyone ever calls you that, it’s only because they’re jealous.
Do You *Need* a Boyfriend?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
You love sex as much as the next guy or gurl...
But you tend to use your brain as well :-)
Eh... condom sex might not be the exact same as rough raw sex, But you have a better chance of staying child and diease free.
Cheers to you for having something besides hairspray on that head.
What Kind of Birth Control Are You?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Yay, me:
If going down were a class, you'd be an A+ student.
You've been known to do anything - from deep throat to ass licking.
Your oral can get almost anyone off...
Too bad you're not flex enough to try it on yourself!
How Oral Are *You*?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
And damn the lack of "all of the above" for at least one of the questions...
Put down the whip and unlace those come-fuck-me boots!
You definitely qualify as kinky - and not just occasionally.
You've exhausted every fantasy, but you're always open to new ones.
Your sexual encounters are usually spiced with role-play, bondage, new positions,
props, and fun fetishes.
Are *You* Kinky? Click Here to Find Out!
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
I'm off to do something other than quizzes. :)
Actually, you need 2 OR 3 boyfriends.
Yeah, you’re the wild, adventurous one.
Voted Most Likely To Have A Three-way by your sorority. And why not? Life’s too short to take it one cock at a time, right?
As long as nobody gets hurt, ain’t nothin’ wrong with it, no how. This does not, by any means, make you a slut.
In fact, if anyone ever calls you that, it’s only because they’re jealous.
Do You *Need* a Boyfriend?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
You are a Condom!
You love sex as much as the next guy or gurl...
But you tend to use your brain as well :-)
Eh... condom sex might not be the exact same as rough raw sex, But you have a better chance of staying child and diease free.
Cheers to you for having something besides hairspray on that head.
What Kind of Birth Control Are You?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Yay, me:
You Are an Oral Master!
If going down were a class, you'd be an A+ student.
You've been known to do anything - from deep throat to ass licking.
Your oral can get almost anyone off...
Too bad you're not flex enough to try it on yourself!
How Oral Are *You*?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
And damn the lack of "all of the above" for at least one of the questions...
You Are a Wild Woman!
Put down the whip and unlace those come-fuck-me boots!
You definitely qualify as kinky - and not just occasionally.
You've exhausted every fantasy, but you're always open to new ones.
Your sexual encounters are usually spiced with role-play, bondage, new positions,
props, and fun fetishes.
Are *You* Kinky? Click Here to Find Out!
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
I'm off to do something other than quizzes. :)
You Are a Like Eyes!
Sly, mysterious, and very sexy.
You have a deep stare and lure people in with your gaze.
Anyone would be lucky to get with you.
Why? Because your big on doing things all the way... And making sure the pleasure is distributed evenly.
And if not fifty/ fifty, your lover will get even more.
You're sweet, kind, and love to be a tease at times.
Congrats! You've got it all.
What Body Part Are You Most Like?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
2003/07/25
Got together with Shawn, Glord and E last night. Evening went fairly well; I'd say the highlight of it was either poking Shawn's nipples (always a great way to spend an evening), having Glord evaluate my meal as being vaginal (and his as being phallic), or having E, Glord and Shawn bond over how I tell stories. Yet somehow they did it by lying, 'cause I don't interrupt any of them nearly as much as they do me. Or if I do I acknowledge it and ask them to continue. So there.
We did a bit of shopping, and I managed to get a used DVD of George of the Jungle, so that makes me happy. Today I'm working both jobs and doing I doni't know what tonight, then making sure I get lots of sleep for tomorrow... Saturday I get to close, and Sunday I get to open (and work a combination of 13 hours between both jobs, with only an hour break in between). I suck.
I finished Dracula last night. Now I want to see Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula, so I can complain about how they massacred the story, but E says he won't let me. We wound up watching about half of Monsters, Inc. last night before I left. I call him 'kitty' sometimes, the same way Boo does, 'cause he's furry.
I wound up having to take a cab home from the bus station, 'cause my folks had misunderstood me when I called about the car, my dad didn't want to pick me up, and I didn't want to wait a half hour for the bus that would take me about 40 minutes to be somewhere near to my house -- and my feet were killing me, so I couldn't walk. I was tired when I was on the way home, then I was wide awake when I was home. :P
I had a dream that I was getting a tattoo done on my left arm to match the one I had on my right arm, except that this one wasn't meant to match, and I went in with a bad drawing and pseudo-explanation, and the tattoo lady didn't ask where I wanted it (although she got it right) and wound up drawing something freestyle that was nothing like what I wanted. I was very sad in my dream, but it was very lightly drawn, so I was going to try to having it adapted into what I wanted.
Someone, analyze my dreams. :P :)
We did a bit of shopping, and I managed to get a used DVD of George of the Jungle, so that makes me happy. Today I'm working both jobs and doing I doni't know what tonight, then making sure I get lots of sleep for tomorrow... Saturday I get to close, and Sunday I get to open (and work a combination of 13 hours between both jobs, with only an hour break in between). I suck.
I finished Dracula last night. Now I want to see Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula, so I can complain about how they massacred the story, but E says he won't let me. We wound up watching about half of Monsters, Inc. last night before I left. I call him 'kitty' sometimes, the same way Boo does, 'cause he's furry.
I wound up having to take a cab home from the bus station, 'cause my folks had misunderstood me when I called about the car, my dad didn't want to pick me up, and I didn't want to wait a half hour for the bus that would take me about 40 minutes to be somewhere near to my house -- and my feet were killing me, so I couldn't walk. I was tired when I was on the way home, then I was wide awake when I was home. :P
I had a dream that I was getting a tattoo done on my left arm to match the one I had on my right arm, except that this one wasn't meant to match, and I went in with a bad drawing and pseudo-explanation, and the tattoo lady didn't ask where I wanted it (although she got it right) and wound up drawing something freestyle that was nothing like what I wanted. I was very sad in my dream, but it was very lightly drawn, so I was going to try to having it adapted into what I wanted.
Someone, analyze my dreams. :P :)
Oh yeah...
Spears, Britney. Very stingy (although I'm hearing reports that this is not always true). Breast implants; uses padded costumes to enhance the effect. Has been known to enjoy marijuana (and coke, and E, and etc etc etc) on occasion. Chain-smoker. Has let her fame go to her head and become a beeyotch. Per Justin Timberlake, her mouth was deflowered a long time before the rest of her body was; Justin dumped her once he was told--by Christina Aguilera, no less, if my source is to be believed--that she was shtupping their shared choreographer. Also linked with Ben Affleck (who she shtupped while still seeing Timberlake), Colin Farrell, Jeff Gordon and Marcus Schenkenberg. (Gads, what horrible taste in men! Not a brain cell among them.) Also linked with Jenna Jameson. (Oh, the visuals from that one....)
And from things that make you huh:
Stewart, Patrick. Reportedly temperamental. Said to pack one of the largest weapons in Hollywood (emphasis mine). Hits on everyone in sight. Possible involvement with Whoopi Goldberg.
Spears, Britney. Very stingy (although I'm hearing reports that this is not always true). Breast implants; uses padded costumes to enhance the effect. Has been known to enjoy marijuana (and coke, and E, and etc etc etc) on occasion. Chain-smoker. Has let her fame go to her head and become a beeyotch. Per Justin Timberlake, her mouth was deflowered a long time before the rest of her body was; Justin dumped her once he was told--by Christina Aguilera, no less, if my source is to be believed--that she was shtupping their shared choreographer. Also linked with Ben Affleck (who she shtupped while still seeing Timberlake), Colin Farrell, Jeff Gordon and Marcus Schenkenberg. (Gads, what horrible taste in men! Not a brain cell among them.) Also linked with Jenna Jameson. (Oh, the visuals from that one....)
And from things that make you huh:
Stewart, Patrick. Reportedly temperamental. Said to pack one of the largest weapons in Hollywood (emphasis mine). Hits on everyone in sight. Possible involvement with Whoopi Goldberg.
In case you wanted to ruin any good feelings you might've had at any point to any particular actor, actress, director, musician, producer -- even a Pope or two --, and so on and so forth, this site is a great place to while away several hours.
Rest assured, there are a few nice things on there. But who wants to read those? Apparently there are an awful lot of celebrities with hygiene issues. :P
*grin* I love these ones: "Richards, Keith. Heavy (former?) drug user. Zombie/undead. Linked with Mick Jagger in a Portrait-of-Dorian-Grey fashion." and "Rodman, Dennis. Crossdresser. Semi-closeted bisexual, or perhaps just confused. Reported alien. Rapist. Linked with Carmen Electra and Madonna."
Rest assured, there are a few nice things on there. But who wants to read those? Apparently there are an awful lot of celebrities with hygiene issues. :P
*grin* I love these ones: "Richards, Keith. Heavy (former?) drug user. Zombie/undead. Linked with Mick Jagger in a Portrait-of-Dorian-Grey fashion." and "Rodman, Dennis. Crossdresser. Semi-closeted bisexual, or perhaps just confused. Reported alien. Rapist. Linked with Carmen Electra and Madonna."
2003/07/24
I was going to write an angry, hate-filled entry about a particular person at a particular place of work and various other people who can't accept the way I'm living my life right now.
Then I got tired and depressed and didn't want to write it. I still kinda do, and I still kinda don't.
Basically, everyone's path in life is different. Just because you can't see yourself doing what I'm doing doesn't mean that what I'm doing is inherently wrong, okay? I'm not killing anyone, and I'm not out stepping on babies. It's selfish, it's maybe not the best thing to do right now, but it's honest and it's upfront and it's what I need to do for me.
So maybe I did write the entry. But believe me when I say that this is the toned-down, apathetic version. D got some of the heated, upset, on-the-verge of crying version last night.
To sum up: I'm not a bad person, at least I don't think so. I've been told I'm giving and sweet and warm and kind and various other things that I like to sometimes think are true. I'm just very frustrated at how other people can pick a path and follow it and no one speaks poorly of them, but the minute I do something -- date someone young, someone old, several someones simultaneously, whatever -- I'm a whore, a bitch, a "real stand-up person" (heavy on the sarcasm) and so on. *sigh* Intolerance upsets me.
Maybe if I became a lesbian, then people would accept that. :P Of course, since I 'love the cock,' that probably wouldn't go over so well. And the minute you mention that you're either going to be or are a lesbian, then guys start asking if they can watch. No one asks to see a heterosexual couple have monkey sex together (well, aside from voyeurs), but the minute it's two girls... eesh. Men suck.
So yeah, last night was the "we hate men" evening, hosted by E for A from the bookstore. There were four of us, three female, one male. Our waitress found E entertaining, I think. He kept saying how wonderful she was, 'cause she kept bringing him Coke, and always just as his glass was drained. It was amusing, as was the conversation. We got to talk about men and sex, and touched a bit on work, but mostly just had a really fun evening and such.
At one point, us females went en masse to the washroom. We got down to where they're located, and wonder of wonders, there were three stalls. Perfect! I open the first stall: "Eew, blood!" A opens the second stall, "Gross, shit!" I laugh, "haha, R got the pee stall!" Well, she never said what was in her stall, but she and A flushed their toilets, while I layered some paper down and we all had our piddles.
We went from three stalls, to two sinks, to one working air-dryer. Funny. :)
A left just around eleven, just before we were joined by D and two other girls from work. D and I left about a half hour in, shortly after R left; I was feeling tired and unhappy at that point, and I just wanted to be gone. The conversation on the bus didn't do a whole lot to improve my mood, but I felt better later. I got a nice backrub and we watched some television, then I got my lift home. I'd been really tempted to just bus straight home and go for a walk, but I didn't.
I have an entry in here about confidence that I want to write as well, but I think I'll wait on that. For now... weird things in email and comments on my site. I feel bad that so far there have been two people from Brazilian bloggers who've left comments on the Whore's Boudoir. The last one was really insistent about my going to her site (she said at one point about how she was playing with herself while reading my site -- the fuck?!), and I feel bad, but the fact of the matter is that I speak two languages -- French, and English. I can puzzle out some Italian/Spanish/Portuguese from classes or knowledge of French, but that's it. I could barely even find the link to leave a comment, let alone regularly/appreciate their sites.
Secondly, weird email. That exchange I'll have to post later, 'cause I don't have access to it at home, but ... yeesh. People don't make any sense at all to me.
Anyhow, tonight has Glord and Shawny goodness, with perhaps some E and E thrown in (male E from dating world and female E friend). We shall see.
Then I got tired and depressed and didn't want to write it. I still kinda do, and I still kinda don't.
Basically, everyone's path in life is different. Just because you can't see yourself doing what I'm doing doesn't mean that what I'm doing is inherently wrong, okay? I'm not killing anyone, and I'm not out stepping on babies. It's selfish, it's maybe not the best thing to do right now, but it's honest and it's upfront and it's what I need to do for me.
So maybe I did write the entry. But believe me when I say that this is the toned-down, apathetic version. D got some of the heated, upset, on-the-verge of crying version last night.
To sum up: I'm not a bad person, at least I don't think so. I've been told I'm giving and sweet and warm and kind and various other things that I like to sometimes think are true. I'm just very frustrated at how other people can pick a path and follow it and no one speaks poorly of them, but the minute I do something -- date someone young, someone old, several someones simultaneously, whatever -- I'm a whore, a bitch, a "real stand-up person" (heavy on the sarcasm) and so on. *sigh* Intolerance upsets me.
Maybe if I became a lesbian, then people would accept that. :P Of course, since I 'love the cock,' that probably wouldn't go over so well. And the minute you mention that you're either going to be or are a lesbian, then guys start asking if they can watch. No one asks to see a heterosexual couple have monkey sex together (well, aside from voyeurs), but the minute it's two girls... eesh. Men suck.
So yeah, last night was the "we hate men" evening, hosted by E for A from the bookstore. There were four of us, three female, one male. Our waitress found E entertaining, I think. He kept saying how wonderful she was, 'cause she kept bringing him Coke, and always just as his glass was drained. It was amusing, as was the conversation. We got to talk about men and sex, and touched a bit on work, but mostly just had a really fun evening and such.
At one point, us females went en masse to the washroom. We got down to where they're located, and wonder of wonders, there were three stalls. Perfect! I open the first stall: "Eew, blood!" A opens the second stall, "Gross, shit!" I laugh, "haha, R got the pee stall!" Well, she never said what was in her stall, but she and A flushed their toilets, while I layered some paper down and we all had our piddles.
We went from three stalls, to two sinks, to one working air-dryer. Funny. :)
A left just around eleven, just before we were joined by D and two other girls from work. D and I left about a half hour in, shortly after R left; I was feeling tired and unhappy at that point, and I just wanted to be gone. The conversation on the bus didn't do a whole lot to improve my mood, but I felt better later. I got a nice backrub and we watched some television, then I got my lift home. I'd been really tempted to just bus straight home and go for a walk, but I didn't.
I have an entry in here about confidence that I want to write as well, but I think I'll wait on that. For now... weird things in email and comments on my site. I feel bad that so far there have been two people from Brazilian bloggers who've left comments on the Whore's Boudoir. The last one was really insistent about my going to her site (she said at one point about how she was playing with herself while reading my site -- the fuck?!), and I feel bad, but the fact of the matter is that I speak two languages -- French, and English. I can puzzle out some Italian/Spanish/Portuguese from classes or knowledge of French, but that's it. I could barely even find the link to leave a comment, let alone regularly/appreciate their sites.
Secondly, weird email. That exchange I'll have to post later, 'cause I don't have access to it at home, but ... yeesh. People don't make any sense at all to me.
Anyhow, tonight has Glord and Shawny goodness, with perhaps some E and E thrown in (male E from dating world and female E friend). We shall see.
2003/07/23
I saw Bad Boys II last night with E and a few of his friends. It was violent and occasionally had things that made you go "eww," but overall it was pretty fun.
Really, that's about all there is to say about the evening. I spent the afternoon watching Buffy with D and just hanging out in the house. We made perogies and left the dishes in the sink, intending to get to them a little later in the afternoon. D and I dozed off on the couch, and when Mom came home, we went upstairs to bring up our dishes from there and tidy up. As we were cleaning up, my mom is telling me (in a pissy tone) to wash our dishes and we should run the dishwasher, 'cause it was full, and that we had to get out of the way so they could start dinner.
First, we were cleaning up!
Second, my dad wasn't yet home and she was on the phone, so whose way were we in?
Third, we were in the midst of cleaning up!
Argh! This is the stuff that makes me need to be out. Thankfully, I be out soon enough. :)
Really, that's about all there is to say about the evening. I spent the afternoon watching Buffy with D and just hanging out in the house. We made perogies and left the dishes in the sink, intending to get to them a little later in the afternoon. D and I dozed off on the couch, and when Mom came home, we went upstairs to bring up our dishes from there and tidy up. As we were cleaning up, my mom is telling me (in a pissy tone) to wash our dishes and we should run the dishwasher, 'cause it was full, and that we had to get out of the way so they could start dinner.
First, we were cleaning up!
Second, my dad wasn't yet home and she was on the phone, so whose way were we in?
Third, we were in the midst of cleaning up!
Argh! This is the stuff that makes me need to be out. Thankfully, I be out soon enough. :)
2003/07/22
We sell gift cards for our Internet Cafe. The way it works, you come to the cash, get a gift card, we put money on it and it translates into time on your account upstairs. The cafe was up and down all day yesterday, so we were discouraging anyone from buying them. Most people were okay with this, but one guy cut me off as I was explaining and said that they had said upstairs it was working and he only needed a few minutes anyhow.
Well, the minimum amount I can put on a card is $2.00 (or twenty minutes), so I loaded him up with that and Bob's his uncle. He asks me if he can use the card in any computer; I thought that was a weird way to phrase it (and I could see how that question might go), but I took as assumed that he meant any of the computers upstairs, so I said yes. He then said, "So if I have any time leftover I can take it home and use it on my laptop or whatever?"
I answered him properly and whatnot, but afterwards I was talking to the other cashier and I was saying, "Sir, please, explain to me how that would work? Where on your laptop is there a card reader through which you can slide this? Or a credit card-sized port into which you can insert this? Did I put a small corner of the Internet onto this card, just for you, so that you can later download it onto your computer and go to town? I should warn you, the corner I put on is the Disney.com corner; I hope that's all you wanted."
Okay, okay, so people are stupid. This has been an accepted fact of mine... oh jeez, for years now. I know that no one understands computers properly unless they work with them in a computer-related field or have a great aount of interest in them. I make no claims to understand them completely myself. But some people... argh.
I remember in high school I used to hear the little teeny punks that I hated even then come in and say, "We got the Internet last night!" or "I got your email and I replied to it and I said this and this and this..." I used to shake my head. Sure, I email people that I see on regular or semi-regular basis. But I don't come in to see them and tell them what I said. Communication in any form is not a novelty for me. "Whoa, a telephone!"
Anyhow, today is going to be a nice, relaxing day. I think it'll just be Buffy-watching all afternoon, but we'll see how it goes. It doesn't look as gloomy as I thought it was supposed to be.
My sister told me the other day that Bravo is going to start airing season six (the final one) of Sex and the City September 19th. Yay! :)
Okay, brainfart there. I can't think of much else to say right now, so I'm going to go feed my face and poke some cats. I kept annoying Shadow yesterday, although she didn't exactly complain; just go in, rub her belly (which she loves) and then go off to do what I had to do. It was fun. :)
Well, the minimum amount I can put on a card is $2.00 (or twenty minutes), so I loaded him up with that and Bob's his uncle. He asks me if he can use the card in any computer; I thought that was a weird way to phrase it (and I could see how that question might go), but I took as assumed that he meant any of the computers upstairs, so I said yes. He then said, "So if I have any time leftover I can take it home and use it on my laptop or whatever?"
I answered him properly and whatnot, but afterwards I was talking to the other cashier and I was saying, "Sir, please, explain to me how that would work? Where on your laptop is there a card reader through which you can slide this? Or a credit card-sized port into which you can insert this? Did I put a small corner of the Internet onto this card, just for you, so that you can later download it onto your computer and go to town? I should warn you, the corner I put on is the Disney.com corner; I hope that's all you wanted."
Okay, okay, so people are stupid. This has been an accepted fact of mine... oh jeez, for years now. I know that no one understands computers properly unless they work with them in a computer-related field or have a great aount of interest in them. I make no claims to understand them completely myself. But some people... argh.
I remember in high school I used to hear the little teeny punks that I hated even then come in and say, "We got the Internet last night!" or "I got your email and I replied to it and I said this and this and this..." I used to shake my head. Sure, I email people that I see on regular or semi-regular basis. But I don't come in to see them and tell them what I said. Communication in any form is not a novelty for me. "Whoa, a telephone!"
Anyhow, today is going to be a nice, relaxing day. I think it'll just be Buffy-watching all afternoon, but we'll see how it goes. It doesn't look as gloomy as I thought it was supposed to be.
My sister told me the other day that Bravo is going to start airing season six (the final one) of Sex and the City September 19th. Yay! :)
Okay, brainfart there. I can't think of much else to say right now, so I'm going to go feed my face and poke some cats. I kept annoying Shadow yesterday, although she didn't exactly complain; just go in, rub her belly (which she loves) and then go off to do what I had to do. It was fun. :)
2003/07/21
Not happy. Tired, feeling quite icky and unpleasant, wanting things to be healed and over and done with.
I managed to lock my keys in the car yesterday, which was ever so fun. My mind was on other things, and I realized that they weren't where I thought they ought to be. I called D and got the, "How much later are you going to be?" with the resigned tone, to which I explained I was in fact downtown -- on time -- I was just insanely stupid.
I wanted to cry. I feel and felt uncomfortable and gross and itchy and annoyed with myself and then yesterday was a whole bundle of stuff. Just everything and nothing and things are all messed up and even if I could fix then I wouldn't know how.
Sorry, just did a web search for something and managed to turn up this page: http://www.threelaccandidadefense.com/yeast.html. I love how they make it seem as if having a yeast infection is the worst possible thing you could ever go through, and that some of the symptoms include suicidal depression, autism, learning disabilities and chronic hives. The fuck?
Anyhow, yeah. Had some fun chats with Shawn last night (who I'm currently channeling with all the emphasis), and then had some weird chats with E. Most likely going to his hometown at the end of the summer, just trying to map out when and whether or not it'll interfere with my birthday/D's departure.
Also learned that he (E) doesn't like the way I tell stories (sometimes). I (usually) like to provide details in my stories, 'cause I feel they're important. Details are needed to understand why it is that a particular person was annoying me so much, or why those questions were funny, or why it made me feel happy. As he said, my stories are rambly, but a cohesive whole. His stories, on the other hand (and he'll admit this!), are often rambly and travel across many different topics that could in some way be interrelated, but aren't part of the original story, and all of this... but for some reason my way is more annoying. Well, 'cause he said it's how his mom tells stories. Bah.
Two of my fish have impressive bubble nests going. This means they're happy, which makes me happy.
So, now it's time to get ready for work and stuff. Yay. Hopefully today will bring on some healing and make me happier.
I managed to lock my keys in the car yesterday, which was ever so fun. My mind was on other things, and I realized that they weren't where I thought they ought to be. I called D and got the, "How much later are you going to be?" with the resigned tone, to which I explained I was in fact downtown -- on time -- I was just insanely stupid.
I wanted to cry. I feel and felt uncomfortable and gross and itchy and annoyed with myself and then yesterday was a whole bundle of stuff. Just everything and nothing and things are all messed up and even if I could fix then I wouldn't know how.
Sorry, just did a web search for something and managed to turn up this page: http://www.threelaccandidadefense.com/yeast.html. I love how they make it seem as if having a yeast infection is the worst possible thing you could ever go through, and that some of the symptoms include suicidal depression, autism, learning disabilities and chronic hives. The fuck?
Anyhow, yeah. Had some fun chats with Shawn last night (who I'm currently channeling with all the emphasis), and then had some weird chats with E. Most likely going to his hometown at the end of the summer, just trying to map out when and whether or not it'll interfere with my birthday/D's departure.
Also learned that he (E) doesn't like the way I tell stories (sometimes). I (usually) like to provide details in my stories, 'cause I feel they're important. Details are needed to understand why it is that a particular person was annoying me so much, or why those questions were funny, or why it made me feel happy. As he said, my stories are rambly, but a cohesive whole. His stories, on the other hand (and he'll admit this!), are often rambly and travel across many different topics that could in some way be interrelated, but aren't part of the original story, and all of this... but for some reason my way is more annoying. Well, 'cause he said it's how his mom tells stories. Bah.
Two of my fish have impressive bubble nests going. This means they're happy, which makes me happy.
So, now it's time to get ready for work and stuff. Yay. Hopefully today will bring on some healing and make me happier.
2003/07/20
In conversation with Shawn:
"One day, I found Jesus, and then he used air quotes and then I lost Jesus. And I was sad."
Also: "The use of "then" is very important. To the humour."
"P.S. I like boys. And AOL."
"Did you just say clit? Is that like naughty Turrets syndrome? "I like your clit clit company." They should make a show called ClitClit Company, it'd be funny. And there could be a character that inexplicably wears liederhosen."
"Did you remember the liederhosen? I can't live without the liederhosen!"
"I masturbated to what about him? The thought of his greasy cock in his fat girlfriend?"
Okay, now I'm done work. So I'll stop transcribing what Shawn says.
"One day, I found Jesus, and then he used air quotes and then I lost Jesus. And I was sad."
Also: "The use of "then" is very important. To the humour."
"P.S. I like boys. And AOL."
"Did you just say clit? Is that like naughty Turrets syndrome? "I like your clit clit company." They should make a show called ClitClit Company, it'd be funny. And there could be a character that inexplicably wears liederhosen."
"Did you remember the liederhosen? I can't live without the liederhosen!"
"I masturbated to what about him? The thought of his greasy cock in his fat girlfriend?"
Okay, now I'm done work. So I'll stop transcribing what Shawn says.
2003/07/19
While at the first of my two jobs today, I wrote a really morose and somewhat down-spirited entry. I don't necessarily feel like transcribing it here; a lot of it had to do with my frustration on the job front and my pros and cons regarding moving out.
However, I will morose a bit... I'm finding it hard to keep in touch with my friends with this two job thing, and that saddens me. I know I need to talk to Mark to make that stuff okay, but I never seem to have any free time. I think I have about three hours a week to myself that aren't between the midnight and early morning hours. I haven't spoken to Ben for ... well, the extent of the summer, really. I'm sure much of that has to do with the Mark situation, and the other much has to do with his girlfriend, but it's sad to see how a friendship that I thought was tighter than that seems to have unravelled fairly quickly.
Jay I speak with fairly intermittently to begin with; he and I are both all over the place for our schedules, and I know he's pretty wrapped up in his new girlfriend. They're probably making kissy faces at each other right now. ;)
As for friends in the city... well, haven't seen much of them in the last while, either. It's just been one thing after another; I wind up learning about my friend's lives and happenings from their websites, or seeing them when they come into the bookstore. Aside from that, barely speak with anyone.
It made me realize how infrequently I start conversations. I rarely seem to call people first or even start ICQ/MSN conversations first. Partly it's out of selfishness, if such a term can be used semi-improperly; I find that my time online is so limited that I'm usually only on long enough to do what I want/need to do before I depart and don't check to see who's online, or I'm busy writing or some such and because Trillian doesn't notify me of people's comings and goings, I'm not noticing who's there and who isn't.
The other part is out of fear of rejection, even when I know it's not personal. It's weird; there's a part of me that fears calling someone to try to make plans with them because I'm afraid they'll either not be home or they'll have other plans, or simply not want to do what I'm suggesting and won't suggest anything else. Hrm, how to explain... I dunno. I'm not feeling nearly as down on myself as this entry sounds, I'm just trying to explain to people why I don't call them. :)
I try to avoid calling E at home now, 'cause I figure his roommates are fed up with me calling when he's not around. I feel like D's folks aren't too keen on me, so I avoid calling him at home. :) I have no idea what number to reach Glord at, and I'll call Shawn, but he never uses his cell, so if he ain't at work or at home, then forget it. I need to get back in the habit of calling people out of the blue, but not too many people enjoy getting called at 2 a.m. -- when I'm free. :)
Ah well... I'm sure it'll all change when I move out and I'm so lonely and desperate for company that I'll be calling people at all hours and begging them to come hang out. :)
As for this that and the other thing... not much going on. Got a pizza the other day from pizza guy, so D and he met. E found my missing earring and dropped it off for me at work, so that was nice. C seems to pay the most attention to me when he's between ladies (or so I speculate), so he's been ignoring me lately, or at least not 'flirting' with me (as D terms it); if his flirting consists of tripping me when I walk by and flinging plastic cards at me, I can pass, thanks.
I finished reading Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde today. As I've been writing this entry, I keep glancing over at my book shelves and chuckling silently at the juxtaposition of books that occupy space; along the topmost shelf (it's a small bookcase), from right to left is Fearless Speech, by Michel Foucault, Story of O, by Pauline Reage, then a romance novel, a collection of fantasy short stories, then Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan, Charlotte's Web, Homer's The Illiad, Have Another Cookie (a gift book that Big A gave me; it's Snoopy cartoons) and then The Outsider, by Albert Camus... then another whackload of romance novels until the shelf is mostly filled. I look forward most of all to arranging my library and my writing space when I move out.
I've been feeling the creativity bubbling around the last few days. I have a burning urge to sit and write a novel or novella, but no real plotline ironed out just yet. Ever since reading The Big U by Neal Stephenson, I've wanted to write something to do with university students, but I haven't figured out yet where I want to take the story. Typically when I write essays, I don't have it plotted out; the same thing happens usually when I write my articles for Whore's Boudoir or for here. However, for a story of any length, I think that it would help to have an outline, or so I speculate. I know that at least one or two people have said (to my face or secondarily) that my novel is not particularly good, and that's fine, it wasn't meant to be. But it also reinforces my belief that I ought to have something in mind (besides "characters have a lot of crazy sex") before I write. No matter, I need the time first anyhow.
For now, I'm off to bed. I'm kinda racing the clock here; I have to be up early for my shift tomorrow and then figure out how my afternoon/evening is going to work out. I'm supposed to meet up with some people for MiniPutt, but I'm not sure at all how that's going to work out, since I'll be arriving after their tee-off time anyhow. I may just see if I can meet up with people afterwards, depending on how things go for me at work and sleep-wise. Oddly enough, sleeping in until 12:15 (when Mom called and woke me up) seems to have left me feeling somewhat rested. :P
However, I will morose a bit... I'm finding it hard to keep in touch with my friends with this two job thing, and that saddens me. I know I need to talk to Mark to make that stuff okay, but I never seem to have any free time. I think I have about three hours a week to myself that aren't between the midnight and early morning hours. I haven't spoken to Ben for ... well, the extent of the summer, really. I'm sure much of that has to do with the Mark situation, and the other much has to do with his girlfriend, but it's sad to see how a friendship that I thought was tighter than that seems to have unravelled fairly quickly.
Jay I speak with fairly intermittently to begin with; he and I are both all over the place for our schedules, and I know he's pretty wrapped up in his new girlfriend. They're probably making kissy faces at each other right now. ;)
As for friends in the city... well, haven't seen much of them in the last while, either. It's just been one thing after another; I wind up learning about my friend's lives and happenings from their websites, or seeing them when they come into the bookstore. Aside from that, barely speak with anyone.
It made me realize how infrequently I start conversations. I rarely seem to call people first or even start ICQ/MSN conversations first. Partly it's out of selfishness, if such a term can be used semi-improperly; I find that my time online is so limited that I'm usually only on long enough to do what I want/need to do before I depart and don't check to see who's online, or I'm busy writing or some such and because Trillian doesn't notify me of people's comings and goings, I'm not noticing who's there and who isn't.
The other part is out of fear of rejection, even when I know it's not personal. It's weird; there's a part of me that fears calling someone to try to make plans with them because I'm afraid they'll either not be home or they'll have other plans, or simply not want to do what I'm suggesting and won't suggest anything else. Hrm, how to explain... I dunno. I'm not feeling nearly as down on myself as this entry sounds, I'm just trying to explain to people why I don't call them. :)
I try to avoid calling E at home now, 'cause I figure his roommates are fed up with me calling when he's not around. I feel like D's folks aren't too keen on me, so I avoid calling him at home. :) I have no idea what number to reach Glord at, and I'll call Shawn, but he never uses his cell, so if he ain't at work or at home, then forget it. I need to get back in the habit of calling people out of the blue, but not too many people enjoy getting called at 2 a.m. -- when I'm free. :)
Ah well... I'm sure it'll all change when I move out and I'm so lonely and desperate for company that I'll be calling people at all hours and begging them to come hang out. :)
As for this that and the other thing... not much going on. Got a pizza the other day from pizza guy, so D and he met. E found my missing earring and dropped it off for me at work, so that was nice. C seems to pay the most attention to me when he's between ladies (or so I speculate), so he's been ignoring me lately, or at least not 'flirting' with me (as D terms it); if his flirting consists of tripping me when I walk by and flinging plastic cards at me, I can pass, thanks.
I finished reading Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde today. As I've been writing this entry, I keep glancing over at my book shelves and chuckling silently at the juxtaposition of books that occupy space; along the topmost shelf (it's a small bookcase), from right to left is Fearless Speech, by Michel Foucault, Story of O, by Pauline Reage, then a romance novel, a collection of fantasy short stories, then Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan, Charlotte's Web, Homer's The Illiad, Have Another Cookie (a gift book that Big A gave me; it's Snoopy cartoons) and then The Outsider, by Albert Camus... then another whackload of romance novels until the shelf is mostly filled. I look forward most of all to arranging my library and my writing space when I move out.
I've been feeling the creativity bubbling around the last few days. I have a burning urge to sit and write a novel or novella, but no real plotline ironed out just yet. Ever since reading The Big U by Neal Stephenson, I've wanted to write something to do with university students, but I haven't figured out yet where I want to take the story. Typically when I write essays, I don't have it plotted out; the same thing happens usually when I write my articles for Whore's Boudoir or for here. However, for a story of any length, I think that it would help to have an outline, or so I speculate. I know that at least one or two people have said (to my face or secondarily) that my novel is not particularly good, and that's fine, it wasn't meant to be. But it also reinforces my belief that I ought to have something in mind (besides "characters have a lot of crazy sex") before I write. No matter, I need the time first anyhow.
For now, I'm off to bed. I'm kinda racing the clock here; I have to be up early for my shift tomorrow and then figure out how my afternoon/evening is going to work out. I'm supposed to meet up with some people for MiniPutt, but I'm not sure at all how that's going to work out, since I'll be arriving after their tee-off time anyhow. I may just see if I can meet up with people afterwards, depending on how things go for me at work and sleep-wise. Oddly enough, sleeping in until 12:15 (when Mom called and woke me up) seems to have left me feeling somewhat rested. :P
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