First day of actually working with the coworker today. He took Monday off, I'm off Tuesdays, so here we are. Kinda cold towards me, I tried chatting with him and he wasn't very responsive, so I just focused on my work. I got an ICQ request today from him asking me to refrain from wearing my perfume to work (a road we've been down before). I wonder, do I acquiese to his demands, or do I be a bitch and ignore them? *sigh* I usually use two sprays, and last time I just cut down to one and he didn't seem to notice; perhaps we'll go that route again.

Let's see... the ex- gets into town tomorrow. Poor J, all this stuff he has to deal with right off the bat; the coworker, my UTI, his cold (which I'm pretty sure I'm getting), and now the ex-... basically, unless one of our homes burns down or we die or something ridiculous, it should be smooth sailing. :) (*knocks wood*)

Mind you, looks like I won't be seeing the ex- tomorrow; I'm working until 11, then possibly getting together with a crew at a bar near my old high school. Afterwards, I'll likely be crashing with J and then heading off to work from there on Friday. Gotta remember to pack change of clothes and whatnot. (*note to self*)

He came to my class today, which was fun. We wrote notes to one another and actually paid pretty good attention. He'd mixed cold meds though, so he was feeling pretty wonky/woozy for awhile, and I felt bad about that. After class, we did appearances at a couple of BBQs that various friends were holding, and that wasn't bad. Nothing special, but it was okay.

Got together with D last night, and told her all the dirty details, which she totally appreciated... that was awesome. Even before she met him, she was saying how happy she was for me and how great he sounded. Then I introduced him to her, and she was saying how hot she found him, how if she'd passed him on the street she'd take a second look, and how awesome he was and how clean (based on the car, before she met him). He was pretty relaxed around us, and we were making dirty jokes and stuff... it was fun. :)

I keep meaning to dig out the pics from the Christmas party, when I last met him. I think I'll do that now, see how different he looked then. ;)

Otherwise, just general joking around with Jay and J about this wedding that's coming up. Originally Jay invited me, now I'm going with J, but only because Jay dumped me like the heartless bastard he is! ;)

Anyhow, off to bed for me. Just wanted to jot down some general thoughts. Any votes on the perfume issue? Please weigh in -- I need the advice. :)

Oh yes, and the coworker took back his apology for reading over my shoulder. It would appear he doesn't regret it at all.

And what else? I'm selfish, self-centered, and everything has to be on my terms. There's more to that, but I've already hashed it out with J and he made me feel better about it, so off I go. :)

So, I'm not sure if the coworker really does want to be a friend or not. I'm trying; saying hi when I see him online, chatting with him and whatnot. He asked if I had a good night last night, then said, never mind, don't want to know. I sent: 'Not really. Went to the campus clinic, did some shopping, ran to the washroom every two minutes.' He doesn't even ask if I'm feeling okay now, or what was wrong, or what. Thanks a bunch.

For anyone out there that might be wondering, I spent a not so fun evening (and a few nearly miserable hours) running to the washroom every two minutes because I have a UTI. My fourth. Yay! *grumble* I got to it a bit early, but it still had time to get to the pain and bleeding stage, so that was fun. Not as bad as when I was in TO with the ex- and got the UTI (that was two years ago, I think), but still bad enough to make my evening not-so-fun. :P As long as I was occupied with something though, that seemed to help. I seem to be about 75% back to normal; still some discomfort and pain, but not as bad, and I don't have to go every two minutes. I poured two bottles of cranberry juice down my throat yesterday in the space of about an hour, and that's probably helped. I should probably go and get some more, actually.

Crashed at J's place last night; the ride from the mall to his place (about 15 minutes) was bad enough; I knew there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to make it back to my place by car (about 25 minutes) or bus (about an hour if I make good connections) without simply dying, so I called my parents and said, "This is how it's gonna be." :) I don't know how well my mom believed me, but I have the doctor's note (since I missed a class) and the medications (got those made up as soon as was humanely possible) to back up my story. :)

Poor J. He's having to deal with all these terrible problems right off the bat; the regular feminine stuff, then this... poor guy. He's been great, though. :)

Been taking it easy today, trying to baby myself. I woke up when he left, and couldn't get back to sleep (had to go to the bathroom! :)), so I played some Warcraft III and did my morning Internet routine (which is more or less listed under 'favourite comics' and 'favourite blogs' here on the site). My paladin got killed and I was bored, so I went in and watched bad tv on the couch (Judge Mills Lane -- how much worse can it get? :)), fell asleep. Woke up, turned off the tv (which was no longer broadcasting on that channel anyways), so I went back to sleep for awhile and got up around 11:30. I feel better. :)

J picked up this book for a friend's birthday that I was looking through last night. It's got all these cute pictures of animals, so I was oohing and aahing every few minutes. He was laughing at me. :)

Getting together with D today, so she's going to hear all about this guy and I know she's going to be thrilled for me. We went shopping together yesterday, and he spent way too much money on me, and it was awesome. She's going to be flipping. :)

I have all kinds of gory details to post, but in respect for his friends and mine that read this, I'm keeping them off, which is a shame. Some day soon I'll likely post them, but I think I have to run them past D first. ;) In the meantime, gotta finish getting dressed and think about lunch. I'm off. :)

You're LUST! Sex, sex, sex! It's all you think about! You're not opposed to having more than one boy/girlfriend, and you're very flirtatious. You're represented by the color blue.

Hahahah... this is hilarious. Thanks Sami, good to see you back with content. :)

Thank you. I deserve this. I'm happy, and I just hope it lasts, and that it doesn't get screwed up, or I don't screw it up. This is good, and feels both new and old and comfortable. I like it.

It's been an interesting week. I've not really had the time or inclination to post much, so I haven't, as I'm sure you've noticed. Sorry 'bout that, but here's a few tidbits that have run through my head.

Let's see... well, I got hit on by a lesbian the other day, that was kinda fun. Long story short, we were both waiting for the bus, and she was making general comments to someone else, and then I was kinda smiling at what she was saying (since it was obvious I was within earshot), and then we wound up chatting and decided to hike to the next bus stop, more or less to kill time. We chatted the whole length, compared life stories a bit, and it was fun. She told me that I was too cute to be straight, and that if I ever did decide to give up men (as I've threatened many times over the years), then I should give her a call. She didn't give me her number, so it's nothing that's actually going to happen (for those that are concerned or hopeful), but it was a nice way to spend the time.

That was Thursday after work. Went to Ultimate, but got there late (since the bus was so late and all). Chatted a bit with some people, never actually played, never actually showed up at the bar where everyone gathered afterwards (well, we did, but too late), and was just dead-tired at the end of the evening, so I went home and slept more or less the sleep of the dead. The cats used me as a jungle gym in the wee hours of the morning, and got all excited when I got up for a bathroom break around 5:30. Poor Shadow fell off the bed twice, and I thought that was kinda funny, but I tried not to laugh at her, just made sure she was okay. The expression on her face was pretty priceless, though. :)

I finished Watership Down today. Very good book, I liked the ending. I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but I'll just say it was a very satisfying ending. I was very pleased. Other people may not be, but I was. Now I have to move on to the Hobbit, which I didn't like last time I read it, so I'm not looking forward to that. Instead, I'm reading ahead and polishing off Harry Potter, book one, again. I've seen the movie three times, but only read the book once, and I forgot about a lot of the stuff that was in it and not the movie and vice versa. I need the reminders. :)

At work today, I was having a serious/flirtatious comment with J, and the coworker was reading it over my shoulder. He then confronted me, and we basically didn't discuss it. So now everything is out in the open, which is kinda nice, but I would have rathered it happen in circumstances of my choosing; like my sitting him down and saying, "I've met someone else and we've really hit it off." Basically, things have happened so quickly with J, and I'm not complaining; we've spent most of the last week's waking hours together, and it's been awesome. I just wanted to tell the coworker my way, not have him read it over my shoulder.

In person, he defended himself by saying that it was the only way he could find anything out about me, since I don't tell him anything. In the email, he said that he was sorry for doing it, but that I should be relieved, and that I should know that it's his studio and everything there is open policy. Fuck that bullshit. I don't believe that for an instant. I consider ICQ conversations to be private, between myself and the person with whom I am conversing. It's not as if I was talking on the phone, where he could have overheard. In order to read what I was writing, he had to make an effort, albeit perhaps a slight one, but an effort nonetheless. It's private, and he was an ass.

I'm pretty sick and tired of people feeling that they have the right to pry into my personal communication, diaries, or whatever in order to learn about me. The Ex- (the evil one) read my diary, hacked my FreeNet account to read my email and generally snooped all over. Now the coworker is saying he has the right to read my ICQ conversations so he can learn about me. Fuck. How about fucking asking me what it is you want to know?! I made no bones about the fact that I was spending time with J, and I was going to tell the coworker about us hitting it off. He just didn't give me the chance. *grr*

Ironically enough, after I dealt with that, later that night I got a spam message in my Hotmail account with the subject header "Someone is watching you." No shit.

Unfortunately, this is just about proving J right. :P Mind you, that's only if you really believe in these things. :)



Little Filthy Old Pervert
(Perverse Spoiled Dysfunctional Adult)


Your inner child is the Little Filthy Old Pervert (PSDA). He's not so bad, though, as far as inner children are concerned. Just give him a park bench and a trenchcoat and he's ready to go.

What's more, you could practically hang meat on all of your hang-ups. Phobias, fetishes, anxieties, neurosese... there are so many things happening inside you at once that your inner child is lost in the woods and hunted by wierd psycological animals. He stays hidden so much it's like he's not even there.

It's not so much that he's insane, it's just that you're crazy.

It's up to you to lure him out with bits of cheese and sugar and get him some rehabilitation. Or stay hunted.

So, like damn. Holy fuck. And stuff and stuff. Ummm... right. Life is good, in spite of earthquakes and disturbing the neighbours. Actually... maybe that's part of why.

I'm not posting more than that, and certain of you know damn well why. The rest of you... will find out in due time. No gory details until later. ;)

Which reminds me, need to get in touch with D, and compare notes. Hehehe...

Okay, I'm being cryptic. It's fun. :)

Ah yes, and Happy Canada Day everyone. I hope you kicked people who deserved it. :)

Urgh. Long, long, long day, on top of three nights running without enough sleep. Tonight's plan? Catch up. :) Brief rundown; worked from 9-6, a busy shift, then saw the Men in Black II movie premiere, then went downtown for the 'works. Ended up seeing them from the top of my workplace, which was pretty cool -- no crowds, no spilled beer, no one stepping on my body parts. On the bus ride home, I did kick someone twice, but he deserved it. He was the only person I deliberately kicked all day, so it has been a good day. :)

Anyhow, further updates are going to be tomorrow. I've been given permission (and in fact been prodded) to post some details about the past few days ;), so that'll be happening soon enough. Reminder to self, do the paper tomorrow! *sigh* Also, working tomorrow 6-11, after feeling as if I never want to listen to a/c music again. *grumble* Anyways, going to make a phone call or two to say happy Canada day, possibly have a quick shower, and crash. Sweet, sweet sleep... how you beckon to me.

Hung out with a few friends last night, ate some delish food and watched American Pie 2 (for the third time for me). Not a bad evening. Tried to get the Mazda up a steep incline and discovered that I really need to work on hills; I laid rubber getting up the hill and it wasn't the best of things. It seems my friends always are in the car when I screw something up. No fun.

Got home around 12:30 or so, played around on the computer for a bit, then finished up Charlotte's Web before hitting the sack. So now I'm up at a decent hour and reading to be going, which is good.

Chatted with the ex- a bit last night, which wound up bringing me down a little. We talked about his words from awhile ago, and he said that while he was sorry for his word choice because of its harshness, (although this part wasn't as spelled out), he felt justified in the message because he was tired of how I was acting and all that. Funny thing, I wasn't all that bitchy or bitter in that conversation, compared to others. Maybe it's a cumulative thing, I don't know. I'm just trying to move past it and hang out with others as much as I can.

Got some long days coming up. Tonight's work, then dinner and a movie. Saturday is work, then possibly going out to see this band I like. Sunday is just work, then Monday is work (a nice, nine-hour shift), then off to see the premiere of Men in Black II, to which I'm looking forward. :) Then, since we're into July, Tuesday is my day off. :)

Anyhow, time to check on the cats and get moving, since I want to be in to work for a decent hour, and I need a shower to wake me up. I hate this whole late night/late morning thing... I just always seem to still be tired, although I haven't napped during the day for awhile. Ah well... later. :)

Defining myself through quizzes...



Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz



Although the first time I got it, I got this, which I thought was funny, considering how I'm viewed (Whore of Babylon, remember):




Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

All of the following is total stereotypes and I don't even believe all of it, but I wanted to write it that way 'cause that's the mood I was in (half-asleep and brain-dead).

I think the things people say when they want to break up with someone are funny. I mean, they're all cliches, and they're all awful, but you fall yourself falling into the trap anyways.

I mean, there are a few different instances for breaking things off with your significant other.

First, there's the case when you become interested in someone else. Sucks, but it happens. What do you generally say to your SO at the time?
"I think we should see other people."
"I've become interested in someone else."

Both can be very much true. The first doesn't specifically spell out, "I've met someone else and I want to bone them more than you now," but most people are able to piece one and one together pretty quickly. To the first, how do you reply to that? "Uhhh.... okay." I mean, there's no way to refute that one. I'm not saying people should try to necessarily, but ... it's just funny, 'cause there isn't a way of refuting it, period. I did see an episode of Will and Grace when Grace tried to dump her boyfriend at the time (Will's boss), and he wouldn't let her. He just kept saying no, and she kept going along with it (although I don't exactly understand why). Then he dumped her, and when she was trying to say no, it just seemed kinda pathetic, and he viewed her as such. That episode bugged me.

Also, in this case, does this mean that we still see each other? Do we still sleep together, just see other people? Can be a very difficult situation, but generally means, "I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore, and I've met someone(s) else. I'm just trying to be nice by not telling you so."

Now, the second is more honest, it's more to the point, but it just about says, "...and we've started seeing each other/talking sweet little nothings/boning already."

Next scenario? You realize that your SO is a big waste of space/asshole/bitch/obnoxious as hell/not the one who you want to ride like a palm tree anymore.
Guess what? You generally find yourself using the same excuses, even if they're not true. Why? Because otherwise, if you're me, your ex- stalks you (okay, not really), but it's much easier to be persuaded to get back into the relationship. That's why it took me a year and a half to break up with The Ex-; there was no one else on the horizon and I had all kinds of doubts and insecurities and stupidities that were all his fault (okay, maybe not, but close enough).

Moving to another city? Do we keep the long distance relationship going, or agree to see other people and if/when we wind up in the same city together, then we'll go back out again? Well, here's my experience... long distance relationships work for awhile, but if you're broke students, it can be really difficult to maintain them. If you know of someone in the second scenario (see other people, same city get back together), then you just try to sleep with other people. Or something.

Did I mention that my brain is on vacation right now, and hasn't bothered leaving a note as to where it's gone or when it's getting back? It's true. I've felt pretty dumb all day. So, on that note, I'm going to crosspost some of this to UnCultured, and toddle off to bed after reading Watership Down a bit more. I'm about half-way through it right now, and as soon as I finish I'm going to push it on other people. I'm really enjoying it, and I think lots of people should read it if they haven't. It's dense, too, so even though I breeze through most books like nobody's business, I'm not doing that on this one, and that's a good thing, a good feeling. I like bunnies. :) I still need to read Charlotte's Web, but that won't take me more than an hour or so.

Packed weekend, looking forward to it. I'll post more as I get through more of it. :)

Let's see, what was my weekend? Well, Saturday I did the trek in the hot air balloon. It was cool; we launched from Carleton University and landed in Aylmer. The only crummy part was when we landed in a field, at twilight, into the happy clutches of some mosquitos (or moggies as the British people on our flight called them) who hadn't seen human flesh since oh, I don't know, before the Ice Age? Urgh. Fortunately I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt over my top, but it didn't stop my feet from getting chewed all to hell. And with my allergy, I was especially thrilled... and itchy. :P Ah well. The coworker and I dropped in to various houses (his and mine), showered and changed (separately, thank you very much), and then headed off to a wedding reception being held for one of the receptionists at work. She looked really good, really happy. The DJ was one of the jocks at work, so we were chatting and joking with him. He spotted me when I went to line up to catch the bouquet, and was talking to me through the mic from across the room. Cool. :) Then I had him call up the coworker when the men lined up, and that didn't please the coworker too much. Tough! :) The funny moment was when one of the ushers/male attendants caught the garter -- even before he actually caught it, as it was headed towards him, he said, for all to hear: "Oh shit." There was much laughter.

Let's see... Sunday wasn't anything fun, just work. Lots of news going on, including a power outage, so everyone was calling to find out when their power would be turned back on. My mental reaction? Your power has been off for a half a fucking hour! Be more patient you tool! Also, when people were calling me to tell me/the newsroom about the destruction in Richmond and whatnot? "Yes, we've been reporting on it since five o'clock. Yes, we know, thank you." This was especially fun to people who called at 8:30 or later to tell me. You're hired, 'cause you're timely! :P :) What else? Highlights on the phone include the lady who was pissed at me because I couldn't transfer her to the newsroom, so I was quite rude to her (by my standards, that is), and then the guy who wanted me to have my newscaster repeat the story she opened with (in the same newscast), because he lost power and didn't hear it. Uh... sure, guy. Just for you. Then he got pissed at me because I wouldn't do it. Right.

Oh yeah... also finally revealed the presence of the tattoo to Mom and Dad. Mom was the one that I was most worried about. She was telling me that I had to learn to start dealing with things, because otherwise I'd run out of body. Also, she said she knew. Hmm... ah well. Showed Kim, she was pleased to see that it wasn't the one that she wanted to get, which is a line of pawprints on her lower back. Uh, sorry chiquita, but I reserved that one a long time ago. So, gonna have to step up the moves and get that one done sooner. :)

Friday night I went out with a friend to see Undercover Brother, and quite enjoyed it. Funny movie. We went to the local pub and chatted until 1:30, then went and sat in his driveway until about 3:30 and chatted some more. Finally had to take off 'cause we both had to get up in the morning, and I still had to get gas for the car. I was nice to Mom and filled the whole tank. :)

Today was pretty blah. Was thinking about not going to my class, but I figured if nothing else, I could leave at the break. Stayed for the whole thing, and it was fun. I like our prof; she's young, seems nice, entertaining. Kinda high-schooly teacherish in her approach, but it works, and it's summer, so I don't mind. While I was in class, I got a phone call from Jay's friend, but since my phone was on silent, it went to voice mail. He left me his number, and I was going to call him tonight, but I wanted to wait until I got home, and when I got home, we ended up having cat crises, and then Rob called just after 10 and we chatted for awhile. So, with one thing and another, I didn't get to call him. I don't like calling people too late, especially if I don't know their routines and all, so I figure I'll give him a shout tomorrow. I'm going to aim to get to yoga tomorrow, as well. I need the exercise and the release. Speaking of exercise... I read Di's site today, and she had posted some links to sites of people with anorexia (the first one is disturbing... people who have anorexia and bulimia and are proud of it or whatever scare me), and saying she felt bad about her body, which is awful, 'cause I think she's just beautiful all over... and here I am sitting here, eating tortilla chips. Ugh. I'm trying to cut back on chocolate and Coke, and for the most part I've been doing okay. I've had a few Cokes lately, but not the one-a-day I used to have (didn't have any for about a week or so), and I've been pretty good on the chocolate, although I did eat two chocolate bars yesterday. They were Kit Kats though, so not as much chocolate. ;)

Haven't spoken to the ex- since the day he told me to fuck off. I sent him an ICQ one day asking him if we were going to speak again, and then about ten or twenty minutes later sent one that said 'guess not,' and for the most part I've just been trying not to think about it. I took him off MSN that same day (I think; I don't consciously remember having done it, and he's not on the list, so...), and off ICQ a few days ago. It really bothers me, but I'm trying to put it behind me and grow past it. I have opportunities here, and maybe we just can't talk anymore, the way I cut The Ex- out of my life several years ago.

Sometimes I think I really am the horrid person that some people (those who date me) go and tell me. The coworker, the ex- and The Ex- have all said it, and sometimes I think it must be true. I just get so fucked up once I'm in a relationship, and then I fuck up those close to me. The coworker has told me on numerous occasions that he's not a bad guy, he's not this, he's not that... and sometimes I think, yes you are. And then I wonder, or is it me? *sigh* Sorry, can't get into the proper frame of mind to express the thoughts on that, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Anyhow, going to try to get some rest, maybe get some more reading done. So far, Watership Down is pretty interesting, and I like how it's written.

Kinda looking forward to seeing L again, he's back at the end of this week, IIRC. I was pathetic enough to have actually checked his schedule. I'm not a stalker! :) In the meantime, it's a busy week, including dinner plans Thursday night in Montreal with Ben. C'est cool. :)

Sorry about the lack of anything interesting or especially ranty. I've just been internalizing a lot lately, and not wanting to talk or write about it. Maybe not the best attitude, but I'm just kinda tired of it all. Tired, tired, tired. And some more tired. I don't sleep well or enough, I have fun when I'm out with friends (like last night), but overall, just tired. I got my schedule for work for the summer, although it's not set in stone... no more Ultimate for me Thursday nights, since I work all of them for about a month or more. Yay for 7-day weeks! Fuck.

Started up my children's lit course, so that'll keep me busy for awhile. I started the reading, but the first fairy tale I have to read is written in Olde English, which is just a nuisance and a half.

Got the hot air balloon ride tonight, so that's going to be fun. Of course, I forgot my camera, so I'm going to be calling the coworker and seeing if perhaps he'd pick it up for me. If not, I might buy a cheapo camera, so it doesn't matter if it gets dropped. :)

I'm back at that point of wanting to run away from my life and my world and everyone and everything. I was talking to Jay the other day, and he might be setting me up with a friend of his. It's funny. :)

I've run into or hung out with various people that I know from school years past (elementary, high school, etc.), and I realized that I'm bitter about relationships right now. I want to move past that, but who knows if/when I will.

Anyhow, back to not being in the studio when I'm working.

They're crap, and I wasn't trying hard or maybe even doing it fairly, but...

Congratulations! Your general IQ score is 163.
A person whose IQ score falls in the range of 161 and above is considered to be a "genius".

Yay, me. :)

Jen, your Key Motivator, the thing that really drives you to success in life, is Connection.

Based on your answers about values, past behaviors, and internal priorities, we can tell you look for ways to belong to a group, to have fun, to care for others, to be the center of attention, or to be publicly recognized for your efforts. In addition, you may find that you're also motivated by aspects of prestige, stability, experience, and curiosity.

Forgot to mention last night, I miss the casual touches. L's touched/grabbed my butt a few times, and when we kissed, he had his hand on my hip, and it felt nice. Sometimes, more than sex, that's the stuff I miss. The cuddling, the being held. Holding hands with someone (which I haven't really done with anyone since the ex-), and that kind of thing. Snuggling, spooning. Had some of it with the coworker and it was nice, but there were gaps.

A letter to myself, then long rambling

Reality check. It's over. I've lost, she's won. No matter how many times he sees me and holds me and tells me how good it feels, no matter how many times he tells me he wants me and how he just can't love me because of our city situation, it's over. I've lost. He just wants to sleep with me. The rest of it he wants with her. Get this through my head, learn this one unalterable fact and just move on.

Have meaningless sex with all the people I want, date whomever I want, do whatever I want. Regardless of how much he may or may not get upset about you sleeping with other people, he doesn't want you because you don't live in the same city. He's started telling her about how he's fucked up in the head. Your role in his life is getting smaller and smaller. Sure, you were the first. Sure, you have the strongest affect on him. But that too will change. It's over.

Argh. Go, be alone. Or, go and find yourself a boyfriend. Find someone that you can maybe fall in love with or maybe just have a nice, comfortable relationship for awhile. Find a mad pash. Find no one or everyone or just yourself. But it's over with him. He's found someone else and maybe he'll find himself with her in a way that he never found himself with her.

You lasted awhile. It was good. Then, once you started to break up again, it got messy. It got complicated. Maybe, somewhere down the line, the third time will be the charm. Maybe it will. Maybe it won't. There's no way of knowing. Him saying that if things were right you guys could exist is him just saying that to be nice and spare your feelings. Maybe it's best to not talk to him for awhile. Crying hasn't helped. Getting angry hasn't helped. Getting upset and stupid and feeling used and stupid hasn't helped. What will help? Hanging out with your friends, which you're working on. Making new friendships, also working on. Setting up dates for yourself? Sure, why not (no, I haven't done this yet). Gotta talk to the coworker and figure out what's going on there. Just be friends, if it can happen. It's what's best, for both of you.

Stop chasing the ever elusive next person who might get you off (the Holy Grail for you). Stop equating sex with love (well, don't think I've done that one for awhile). Don't sleep with people who just use you as a warmer, wetter version of their own hand. Find someone that cares about your pleasure, and wants to please you. Find someone that doesn't assume that you're like every other girl that they've slept with and that wants to find out what you like and what makes you feel good and wiggle and squirm and pant and scream. Find someone that doesn't rush to get you naked and enjoys kissing and getting all hot and bothered as much as you do. Find someone that respects your boundaries and doesn't whine or plead with you to go further than you want at that given time. Find someone that will be all the things in a sexual partner that you miss.

I do miss sex. I miss the incredible feeling of lying naked with someone, feeling their skin against yours. I miss the feeling of getting so hot and bothered just kissing that you're wiggling and squirming and itchy under your skin and dying to tear your clothes off, but you want the feeling to last forever. I miss feeling as if I was just going to go out of my mind if I didn't get touched right there (where ever there might be) in the next minute. I miss being naked and playful and goofy with someone and the feeling of having been really well fucked (pardon my language, but those who know, know). I miss feeling as if all I wanted to do was bring my partner pleasure and make him go out of his mind and groan and wiggle and squirm and beg (there was one person in particular that was just absolutely awesome for that). I miss going to sleep with someone snuggled up next to me. I miss feeling hair rubbing against me, be it my breasts, arms or legs. I miss that incredible feeling of being filled for the first time, especially after waiting for it for awhile. I miss feeling adventurous and having fun ideas that I want to try out with someone special.

There is something just incredibly incredible about a guy that enjoys giving oral sex. Like, really enjoys it. As in, begs you to let him taste you and doesn't care (seemingly honestly) if you do nothing to him in return. Especially given the stigma around it (and guys who don't know what they're doing), someone who honestly knows what he's doing, wants to find out what you enjoy and does and would just stay down there forever is just wonderful. I don't feel any shame or stigma about my bits (well, for smell factors that is), but there's just something honestly touching about someone that tells you how much he enjoys how you taste, and that he could eat you out all day and night... well, that's something great. I'm not pointing fingers :), but it's a really awesome thing, and for me, at least, was a really new experience. Back when it happened, that is. This is something I've just not gotten around to saying for awhile. :)

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, today's topic appears to be about sex. :) Sorry about that... I've been horny for a bit. My mostly celibacy continues. I say mostly because it's been a "everything-but" kind of celibacy, although for awhile it was an "everything-everything" celibacy. It's been going pretty well. At least from my perspective, I guess. Well, not really well. But that's another ramble.

So, what else? Well, I seem to let people close to me walk all over me and screw with my head. Then, when I stand up for myself (maybe not always in the best of situations), or when I act stubborn and obstinate, I fight with people. Likely because I don't always pick the best times to stand my ground, pride goeth before a fall and all that, but what the heck. At least I'm not snapping at people anymore, right? Hah.

Anyhow, I've gotten over my pissed-offedness I think, and it's definitely beyond time for me to hit the sack. Had some nice chats with a few people today, got the exam written, and unless I barely pass or totally fail it, I should pass the course nicely. Here's hoping for something in the As, but I'll be satisfied (although surprised) with something C+ at minimum (since that's what I need to pass my course and all). The next course, children's lit, starts on Wednesday, so no break for the wicked, but at least it's easy. Efforts to get together with friends are progressing nicely, and I think I'll try to make some kind of outing with the piercer in the near future. Called him again today (after speaking to him very very briefly on Sunday, as noted), but got his voice mail. I might actually swing by the studio tomorrow, who knows. My godfather is going to be in town tomorrow night, and I haven't seen him for quite some time, so I'm going to make efforts to be home for dinner... which means leaving work a bit earlyish, especially if I want to catch an express. If I get my ass in gear in the morning, maybe I'll drop in on my way to work. Who knows? Especially if his teeth are all mucked up, he may not be in at work, so phone call first. :P :)

Kinda weird that I'm doing all this chasing, especially if I'm not sure if I'm interested or not, but I can't know unless I get to know him a bit better, right? Right. S'all new to me. L is also going to be at work tomorrow, so I'll probably drop in and say hi to him before I take off. He asked me for a kiss at work on Saturday, but I told him I didn't think it was a good idea, since we were both at work, and the timing would have been awful had I agreed, since right as I was finishing what I was saying, my boss walked by the big glass window and came in. That would not have been explainable at all. And I think I would have been sixty shades of red for a year or so. :)

Anyhow, headache's starting to come, so that's my cue to take off. Hope you all enjoy today's content (probably my longest post yet), and soon I will get to work on archiving all of these posts on my very own computer for my own diary purposes. I haven't written in my paper diaries for quite some time. Sometimes it's just easier to think as I type (as I usually do for essays); other times it's easier to hand write. Ah well... updates as they happen, as always. Take care, and I'll try to take my own advice (like taking care).

I chatted with L a bit yesterday. He said kissing me was nice and he'd definitely like to repeat it at some point. He didn't mention his proposition again, and neither did I. We debated a bit about whether or not you could taste the cigarettes even after gum had been chewed, with me saying yes, of course. It wasn't so bad, but I could certainly taste it. He usually gets to leave a few minutes earlier than I do on Saturdays, and when I got to the bus stop he'd already left. So... I don't know. It's stupid, 'cause I can kinda feel myself developing a crush on him (or something)... some kind of interest, and it seems like he's treating this as he said; nothing more, nothing less. He's off next week for his birthday, and he's going back to his hometown, where his ex-girlfriend is; the two of them would be together except for the distance thing (living a few hours apart), so I figure hey, maybe he'll hook up with her while he's there, get some, and then rescind his offer. I don't know what to think.

Since it was his proposition, I think I'm going to let him bring it up again, first of all. And second of all, if the offer is made again, I'm going to have to tell him that I'd have to 'date' him for a bit first, before I was able to get naked with him. I don't know him well enough to think that just jumping into bed naked would be fun. I know that I just seem to enjoy sex more with someone that I have a larger connection with, and I need to be able to talk to them. The coworker and the ex- were good at that... I wasn't so good at doing that with the pizza guy, which was my fault.

Ah well.. nothing to say, really. Chatted a bit with Dan, but he was on his way home from something in the States; couldn't really tell. Apparently he really mucked up his teeth 'cause some kid crashed into him, so that's going to be interesting to see (if I do). I know he's said I should swing by the studio, but it's not exactly on the beaten path for me. We'll see. Maybe if I feel confident in my studying, I'll drop in on my way to class. Who knows? :P

Been turmoil back and forth with the coworker, and it's just annoying. I should sit down and talk to him, but I'm not sure what there is to say, and I'm not sure how to say it. For now... well, I guess I just keep waiting.

Anyhow, I'm going to read for a bit and crash. Try and get an early night so I don't oversleep tomorrow. Then, so long as I study well and pass... this class is history! I can't wait. Here's hoping. *crosses fingers*

Things are moving slowly on the Internet front today. Must be lots of traffic or something. :P Ah well. Last night Dad caught Shadow starting to squat in a basket of laundry that I had downstairs. He chased her out, but it turns out that either at that point or later she did hit it; she peed in it. I also had clothes stacked on my bed 'cause I'm too lazy to put them away, and she was lying on them or something at some point, and I noticed that she'd peed on them, too. Ironically enough, my Kitten shirt got the brunt of her wrath. She's a smart little bugger. :P :)

She was kinda hesistating around me when I was dealing with the laundry, so I told her I wasn't mad and she seemed to relax. Yes, I know, I anthropomorphize animals, but I just can't help it. No worries. So I did laundry and litterbox cleaning at 2 a.m. last night, instead of this morning, as I'd originally planned. :P It worked out a bit better, since this way I have clean laundry for tonight and I also slept in anyways. I gotta get moving, but just wanted to write that part before I forgot. Rest of my updates come later, and so far no message from the piercer. *shrug* Ah well.

Urgh. Today hasn't been the best of days. I woke up with a really wicked stomach ache this morning (at 9:30!) and no way of explaining it. Ate some oatmeal, 'cause it felt almost like hunger pains to the nth degree (without the rumbling stomach), and that seemed to help somewhat. I think I just haven't been putting enough food into my system the last few days (at least according to my body), so it decided to get me back. Kinda scary feeling, 'cause now I'm scared to be close to hungry, since it doesn't seem to have that in-between point.

Spent a bunch of time just chatting with the ex-, playing truth or dare online, of all things (it worked about as well as it sounds), and then did a bunch of reading for my exam today and then just mucked about the house. As I was reading, I had a moment of falling asleep, so I went and stretched out on the lawn (I'd been reading in the porch prior to that), and had a nap for a bit. It was a nice feeling.

Had a bit of an argument with the coworker about how I'm tired of hearing him complain about his job (more to it, but I don't feel like going into it), and my dad, based on my synopsis of it, seemed to agree with me. Dad and I had dinner together, some tasty chicken stirfry, then my stupid sister ate the leftovers that I was going to use for my lunch tomorrow. Ah well. Went for a bit of a walk, too; I was going to hit the bar near my place and just sit and do some writing, but it was a bit busy and I didn't much feel like sitting alone... seemed a bit too pathetic. Went into the Loeb, picked up an apple dumpling, some sour apple o's and some cash for tomorrow, and came home and went out for a bike ride (I got back in around 12:15 or so).

Called Dan, but got his voice mail on his cell, so I left him a message. I was supposed to call him earlier today about a movie possibility or something, but I didn't really feel up to going out. I'm playing the game (kinda), and I don't know that I want to be doing it. Saw him Monday night (which I'll write more about later), we chatted, he gave me his number so I gave him mine, and then I called him Wednesday night. Kept having to call him back, since things were busy on his end, and eventually just basically gave up and he went to bed. I crashed an hour or so later, and haven't spoken to him since then.

Of course, since I haven't seen L since last Saturday (he usually works Tuesdays and I took Tuesday off for school stuff), he's been on my mind a bunch. I think I wouldn't mind dating him, but that wasn't what he wanted, so... I also, probably wrongly, think that maybe L is smarter than Dan... but I haven't spoken to Dan much in depth, so it's hard to tell. It's a weird situation that I haven't been in for awhile... just trying to get to know someone new, and usually when he has all kinds of distractions around him. I'm not sure what to make of him; he's really insistent that I call, which is kinda cute. At the club, he was all "make sure you call me!" and then last night when I called him the first time, he had to be going out for a friend, so he asked me to call him back in 45 minutes, and he said "make sure you call me back!"... so I think he likes me. Either that, or he hasn't had any in awhile and is thinking I'll put out, especially since he's already seen me with my pants off. ;)

Other than that, today has been seriously uneventful. I'm going to do some reading and then hit the sack. I want to be up a bit early tomorrow if I can so I can get some laundry done and look nice; tomorrow night we're going out to celebrate J's last day (more or less) as a security guard at work, so that should be fun. It's going to be another evening of drinking and being run down on Saturday... but hey, it's a feature show from 12-3 and not regular programming, so it's a bit less work for me. Huzzah! :)

I'll finish writing up Monday's events sometime tomorrow, if it's not too busy at work... otherwise it'll be Saturday. That way you get all the boring details. ;) (Well, it was a decent evening, with some excellent conversation featuring Ben. It's always nice when you know someone well enough to just talk nonstop so your throat is raw, as I said before. :)

Night all, and here's hoping for a fun and potentially flirty tomorrow. :)

I took it again and this time figured out that I could choose multiple options. Dur. :) I got gauntlet adventurer again, and then this one:

I am Mr Do. I am sedentary by nature, enjoying passive entertainment, eating when the mood takes me, and playing with my food. I try to avoid conflict, but when I'm angered, I can be a devil - if you force me to fight, I will crush you. With apples. What Video Game Character Are You?

With apples, indeed.

What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty

"You love to be pampered and romanced by your men and things like cuddling by a fire, having an intimate meal, or having a long, deep conversation can always put you in the mood. Sex to you is usually more about the man your with than the act itself. Not a one-night stand kind of girl, newness and disconnectedness just don't do it for you. The mature, stable men you prefer to date appreciate your loyalty and big heart, but they especially love the way you inspire their more aggressive, protective masculine side."

Parts are certainly appropriate, considering my life. :)

Find your inner Smurf!

Yay, me! :)

What is it about me that says, "Hey, I'm good to have a fun time in bed, but don't date me"? I just had another proposition today from someone at work. We kissed a bit, and then I was being asked if I wanted to 'take this further', and he said his place was free Monday night. I have a class, and I told him so, and I also said that I wanted to take things slow. He mentioned that his place is free lots of nights, and it's he's not looking to rush (or something along those lines). I don't generally (okay, it happened *once*) go from kissing someone on one day and screwing 'em a few days later. The difference in that other experience is that I'd been spending a *lot* of time with the person in question before we had sex.

Then he asks what I think of what's going on between us, whether it's going to be a relationship or just a good time, and he says he's not really into the whole relationship thing. *sigh* Neither am I, but I just want to date someone or a few someones for a bit. Not go from friends to lovers with little in between.

*sigh* Went to the pub near my place last night with the coworker. I ran into some people that I went to grade school with, so I was over chatting with them for a bit. Coworker got peeved about that, but I didn't really get into it with him. I can kinda understand where he's coming from, but I've had people do the same to me, so... I don't know. Whatever. Our waiter was really cute and friendly, and a bit touchy-feely towards both of us, but a bit more me 'cause I'm the girl (maybe 'cause he thought I was cute?). Turns out he lived in the area, so we were exchanging stories about high schools, though he's a few years older than I am, so that was likely a turn off for him. I did get some info on him from the younger brother of one of my old classmates, who just happens to work there, so I might try going back at another time (but soon) and see if I can see him again. I was actually very seriously tempted to leave behind my phone number, or ask him if I could give it to him, but he didn't come back to the table while the coworker was away, and I didn't really have the guts. I'm wimpy.

Here's been my pattern the last several months when it comes to guys: I meant nice, cute, interesting ones that are five or six years older than me (not a problem for me), but when they find out my age, I can see the doors kinda closing down. Problem for them. Conversely, people that I am friends with and whose company I enjoy, but am not really looking to further, ask me if I want to sleep with them but not have a relationship with them. Maybe I give off a weird pheromone. *grumble*

Stupid things going on with the ex-, but that's my life and it's not going to change. In brief, it's time to move on. If we get together down the line, fine. If we don't... well, fine. I'm not really at that point quite yet, but I'm working on it. I'm also trying to use this to enhance myself; get out more (hence the club expeditions), spend more time with my friends (and other sundry people who *don't* want to sleep with me... or at least are being nice and not telling me about it!), focus on saving up some money and eating better. I've decided that I'm going to try to give up Coke and chocolate (ack!), and day one of this decision is progressing nicely. :)

Monday marks the second-last class of this course and the club visit that my piercer invited me to. I've got a few friends that may be accompanying me, so we'll see what goes on at that event. See what Dan says/does. I'm just going to try to take things easy, and maybe put some distance between me and the other coworker until I can decide what I want. I like him, but do I like him enough right now to sleep with him? I don't know. Don't think so. Right now, I don't think I like anyone enough to sleep with them, which is why I'm at two and a half months and going strong, I do believe. And y'know what? I'm happy. I'm comfortable as I am, and if it turns out that I get stupidly horny and just absolutely have to have someone? Well, I have options, I guess. :P

So, went to the club opening last night, and I'm glad I did. We had free drinks all night! Wow. That was great. We all took advantage of it, too; I picked up a bunch of shots for us at one point, just 'cause I didn't have to pay for them. I like doing shots, but they're usually kinda expensive -- like, $4.25 for a shot when $4.50 gets you a full drink. The place wasn't packed; a medium-sized crowd, and it was a good thing; I don't like when places are too full. I feel pretty okay today... a little queasy, but nothing too major. I'm also mixing being slightly hungover with the first day of my period, so that's not the greatest mix, but I'll survive.

Security guard at work was kinda bugging me yesterday. He's always been pretty friendly towards me, and is like that with lots of girls (I've been told), so I don't put any stock into it. I'm not interested in him at all, so if he were to have said anything to me, I'd have said no thank you. Then I found out he has a girlfriend, which surprised the hell out of me (and many others), since he really doesn't act as if he has one. Apparently he and the jerk security guard have the girls at the ice cream hut freaked out, 'cause he's always going over there and asking if they want to be walked home. I'm not sure why the jerk has them scared, but I can certainly speculate.

So yesterday I was wearing my ass pants and a red sleeveless top for work and class, and then I changed into a sheer flowered top with a little tank thingy underneath. Both tops are kinda boob tops; the first one is snug and the second one has a low neckline. Didn't do anything special otherwise; I'd done my makeup that morning, my hair I just brushed, and I brushed my teeth. It was me, but with contacts (which I'd worn all day), and a new top. Anyhow, I went downstairs to the front desk to keep an eye out for Ben, because I'd never gotten the chance to really tell him where work was 'cause his phone kept dying. When I went downstairs, there were three security guards sitting at the front desk; one who's a good friend of mine, one who's engaged (and close to my age), and one who has a girlfriend (the one mentioned above). The two that have significant others were oohing and ahhing over the way I looked, and I wasn't trying to show off; I had my jacket somewhat in front of me and my head down. I went over to the phone to try to call Ben again, and J, the security guard with the girlfriend, said, "You're right, she must be wearing her whore underwear." WTF? First of all, you're not a close enough friend to me to be joking about my underwear; second of all, that's a highly inappropriate comment for someone with a girlfriend (in my opinion), and third of all, you're not going to see what's under my pants, so don't be speculating out loud about it. *grr* I tossed it off with a comment like, "Yeah, of course I am. So what?" or something, and just didn't really say anything else to him. Maybe next time I'll just give him a dirty look and see what that says.

He was standing behind me the other day and the coworker was standing in front of me, and J put his hands on my sides or something, and I tensed up and brought my arms up in a boxer pose, which is kinda normal for me. It's me being ready to break away if someone starts to tickle me or pinch me or something. And it's me being uncomfortable with him touching me, which he doesn't seem to notice/realize. He commented on how I always tense up when people touch me, and to some extent, it's true; I tense up when people I'm uncomfortable with touch me. :P :)

Ah, bugger. I keep getting dragged back into this whole thing with the ex-. Everytime I think I'm okay... something happens and just makes me sick and upset all over again. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I need to get going on my day. I gotta get a good chunk of my work done on our part of the project, since I'm working until midnight tomorrow and doubt I'll get any real work done then. That means getting showered and dressed and heading downtown. If I ever finish this conversation with him, which I doubt. I'll likely wind up walking away from it if I can. Which I want to now. Fuck.

Which Season are you?

And another, just to have :)

Which era in time are you?

Well, there are certain distinct advantages to being media. They're few and far between, but hooray for free drinks all night at new club openings. :)

I'm still drunk. :)

Last night I was sitting outside, reading my book and watching the cats play. Shadow was on her leash and Digger was sitting on it. Then she wrapped the leash around him, so I had to remove it from his neck. Then they fought, and Digger ran out of Shadow's range. It was a fun display to watch, especially as they were both taking turns starting and stopping the fight. For those who haven't met them, Shadow is a calico with a fair amount of white to her. Digger is an orange and white tabby, long haired. As I was sitting out there, my sister came out for a bit and was watching them too. Shadow kinda hunkered down to hide in the grass, and we laughed a bit, 'cause it's pretty funny for a fairly white cat to try to blend into the grass. Then my sister made the comment, "Well, at least we don't have a cat that blends into the cedars anymore."

I wanted to tell her to go inside and not talk to me. I wanted to tell her how stupid and insensitive of a comment that was. I wanted to tell her that she was supposed to be inside, watching dinner. I wanted to tell her so many things, but I just kept to myself and didn't talk to her after that point. She stayed outside for awhile longer, saying other things, but I didn't respond to them because I was in my own little world, going back over ground I've covered so many times before: how unfair it is that Chloe is gone, how she was such a sweet and precious cat to me, how much I miss her, and how much I thought her and Digger would be growing up together, brother and sister.

I ate my dinner, watched tv and snuggled with Shadow and read my book. She went to her music rehearsal, and then came home and got on the phone (big surprise, that having been her pattern lately... so, I assume she has a boyfriend or something that she's not telling us about). After awhile, I heard her off of it, as I was in my room on the computer at that point, so I called up a friend and asked him if he wanted to go to the local pub with me. I wanted to get out of the house and just sit in a bar, not even necessarily drink, and I knew that if I went alone, I'd likely be given a hard time about it. We didn't wind up going, but we did talk on the phone for a few hours and it was good. I felt better afterwards. It wasn't so much that I was still upset with my sister, although maybe somewhat... I just ... bah.

Chatting with a few of the security guards from work Sunday night, as I was leaving, and they made the comment that their friend, with whom I thought I'd hit it off awhile ago, was getting a bit desperate for female companionship. So, as is frequently my case, even the desperate guy isn't interested in me. That's why it's such a novelty for me when someone does hit on me, and I'm always careful to try to determine if they want me for me or if I'm simply a convenient pair of boobs (and not very large ones at that). :)

There's a club opening up tonight, and I have an invite to it that I received through work. I'm debating inviting various people to accompany me to the opening, but I'm not sure who, and what with it being extremely last minute, I'm sure I'll have a hard time finding someone. We'll have to see what happens... in which case, I'll update here. :)

For now, I'm off to get ready for the day. I woke up a bit early today, and I'm trying to capitalize on it.

Sorry about the lack of updates. I've been busy the last few days, and I don't always like to update from work 'cause the coworker reads over my shoulder at times. That bothers me, when he's reading my ICQ conversations with my ex- and asking me questions about them (sometimes). Been trying to deal with the whole kinda wanting to be with the pizza guy/kinda wanting to be by myself thing. Since I don't seem to be terribly strong to one side or the other, I've been staying in the middle and just staying as me. So far, it seems to be working out.

Anyhow, gotta get moving to get to work, but I'll do an update soon, I promise.

Which Piercing are you?

Thanks Di. :) I don't know if I agree, but what the heck.

So, over the past few days of my little vacation (of which today is the last day), I have been more or less avoiding the computer. Well, not so much avoiding as simply not being on it for twelve hours a day. This means I'm not having little meaningless conversations all day, and I'm focusing on me, which is good.

Yesterday I did my yoga tape, with Digger wanting attention the whole time, so that wasn't so good. I worked around him, though. :) Then I tried to go for a jog, decided 'this is for the birds', and went out for a bike ride, instead. Now, I did all of this at about 12:30, 1 in the afternoon, so it was pretty warm out. I felt good afterwards, though. I came home, planted myself downstairs on the couch and watched Empire Records, and just enjoyed relaxing for a bit. Afterwards, went upstairs, finally had my shower, and headed off to school. I called the coworker after class to say hi to him, and he was pretty sick, so I wound up driving him home. Then, after he felt better, he drove me back to my place.

Today's plan, if I can get my butt going, is to do some laundry, clean my room, and probably clean the kitchen, too. I'm also supposed to get together with the pizza guy, but that won't be until later tonight.

Two nights ago, I got together with a bunch of friends from high school. It was kinda fun, wandering around my neighbourhood and just picking up the people that were home. Made a bit of a collection. :)

Anyhow, time for me to check on the cats and get moving.

Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Of course, seeing as how I don't watch Buffy, this doesn't mean a whole lot to me :)

Which Sex and the City Player Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Argh. Why do I find Trading Spaces so addictive? I watched the final tape of Sex and the City (final five episodes), and I want to watch season four now, and get caught up, especially since I've seen a bunch of episodes from season four, it seems, just not in order. Now I've watched seasons one through three in order, and I need to get it straight. :)

The people on Trading Spaces always have such huge rooms to work with. I'd love to see them try to do something in my room... especially my crates of books. Tee hee. :)

Mom came in my room this morning to tell me all the errands she wanted me to do, and Shadow came in and burrowed under the covers. It was pretty funny. Later this evening, Mom went to shoo Shadow off the couch, since she wasn't supposed to be up there, and in direct defiance of Mom's claims that Shadow listens to her (which she's said on other occasions, though not this one), Shadow mrowed at her and turned around to settle down. I found it really amusing. You kinda had to be there, but it was funny. :)

Anyhow, doctor's appointment in the morning (tomorrow's errand), as well as dropping off the jacket to be repaired, whih I never did today, and maybe clean the room before heading off to yoga. I'm biking tomorrow, that's for sure... so long as the weather cooperates, that is.

Make that about a billion errands. She just wants me out of the house. :)

I forgot to mention yesterday that H was chatting with me recently (Friday? something like that). She asked if I'd been in touch with the pizza guy, and I was thinking, "Uh, I was over at the house when you were there, remember?", but I didn't say that. I just said yes, that we chat, and yes, that things are okay. I mentioned it to him, and he figured she was asking if I'd been speaking to him because of his hermitting. So, that's that.

Today's day of laziness is progressing well. I think the days will be a bit better when Mom's not home, which makes it tough to be a true slug, but she's just home on Mondays, so it's okay.

Anyhow, time to get dressed and start on today's errands, of which I now have four, since Mom added one. I was going to bike to all of them, but now I think I'll just drive, 'cause I feel really lazy. Tomorrow, I will bike. That will be tomorrow's errand. :)

Argh. Stupid computer just up and barfed on me in mid-post. Okay, starting over.

Background: A couple of weeks ago, I toddled into Classic to ask questions about jewelry changing. I spoke with Dan, the other piercer at the studio, and got some answers and wandered off on my merry way. Made an appointment to have some jewelry changed, wound up having to special order it, it finally arrived (from Vancouver), I made an appointment to go and have it changed and also have a helix piercing done at the same time. Wound up missing my bus, late for the appointment, just had the jewelry change, Dan did the changing. We chatted a bit as it was being done, I made another appointment, off I went.

Nowground: This Thursday rolls around, I go in (early, this time) for my appointment. I chat with the girl who works at the counter for quite awhile, discussing various piercings, and just joking around and having fun. Dan's ready and set up, I go in and he asks me if I want to hear about his big disappointment for the day, so he tells me and we talk about procedure and whatnot as he's getting cleaned and ready. As he's setting up and marking and just checking out the beauty that is my left ear, we're chatting about movies. He asks me if I've seen Star Wars and Spiderman, I say yes and we compare notes a bit, mainly on how the romance in both movies kinda bogged things down a bit. I tell him I don't like Kirsten Dunst at all, and that maybe they could have chosen a real redhead to play Mary Jane, or if not that, then just a better actress, period, and dyed her hair (since Dunst is a natural blonde and really seems to fit that stereotype, much as I hate to buy into it). He tells me *I* should have played Mary Jane. I have no idea how to respond to that, it being having so many things wrong with it, but being kinda nice anyhow. :) (Things wrong with it: I can't act, I'm not a redhead. The list continues, just not right now. :)

So, we start chatting some more about movies as he's closing up the ring and cleaning me up and I don't even really remember the proper sequence at this point. :) We get on the subject of stupid movies, and I say how they're fun once in awhile, I mention "Not Another Teen Movie," he says it's hilarious. He tells me about the Jackass videos, which I've never seen, but I saw the guy on Blind Date, and I think it's Tom Greenish humour that I wouldn't appreciate, but what the heck. After he finishes up with the piercing, he asks me how old I am. I think, "Shouldn't this have happened before you pierced me? But you know I'm likely over 16, so..." I tell him, then I say, "Lemme guess, you're like 27 or 28, right?" He's all pleased with that, "You think I'm 27?" I ask how old he is, he says 22. I explain that usually it seems like anytime someone asks me my age and I reveal it, they turn out to be 27, 28, and they run in fear from my lowly 21 (22 in August!). So, conversation wraps up, we head back out front (having spent most of my half hour plus chatting, the piercing being merely a sideline), and he hands me a flyer (part of the big disappointment story) for an event going on later, and invites me to show up. First, however, he tells me that if I ever want someone to watch NATM with, I should call him up, that he'd watch it again. So, his next appointment shows up, I'm chatting with them and the counter girl (I wish I knew her name, what a derogatory term) again a bit, they head in, I ask her a few questions about my navel, and off I go to work.

Geez, I'm good at tedium. :)

I head into work, and since I'm about an hour early, I kill time by harrassing people. In this event, it was hanging out in my Sunday studio and harrassing J and L. L calls me beautiful (has done on a few occasions now, including Saturday, IIRC), and seems to be flirting a bit. I was flirting with him, so that wasn't helping; I was poking him with my foot and just teasing him, we were both talking about sex, I making judgmental jokes about french people, 'cause he's french and knows that I'm just kidding. On Saturday, we were back and forth in each other's studios, and I asked him what he was doing when he was off work, 'cause I'm nosy. He said he wasn't sure, likely just going home, and JC (one of the other ops, and an older guy, like 50s or so) said that L should invite me to his place. I didn't really say anything, and the invitiation wasn't extended anyways. Maybe I should have encouraged, but I didn't want to push, and I was too damn tired on Saturday to do much of anything, anyways. I would have been terrible company. I fell asleep on the bus home, at the bus station while I was waiting to transfer, and I was asleep by about 1:30. It felt good. :)

So that's my basic update. I rented the first four episodes of season three of Sex and the City on Friday and watched those with coworker and his roommate. I got home and got to bed later than I should have, which explains why I was so exhausted on Saturday. Plus, I just haven't been sleeping great the last few days, and not being able to put the left side of my head on my pillow hasn't been helping. I usually sleep on my stomach, with one knee drawn up and my head turned to the side... and the last few nights I'd give chocolate to be able to sleep on that side. :P :)

Anyhow, Saturday night I rented the next two tapes and watched 9 episodes straight, which was great. Either today (Monday) or Tuesday I'll rent the last tape and be completely caught up... okay, not completely, there still being a season four and maybe five to great through, but closer than I was. :)

When Kim heads off to school in the fall, Dad's upgrading our systems, and I'm likely going to buy a DVD drive at that time, so I can watch DVDs in the privacy of my own room... and rent DVD porn games! Yay! :)

And so that's tonight's update. I'm taking a few days off from work (although not school or yoga), and so hopefully I'll be more inclined to post, and perhaps even have something worth posting! Got (tentative) plans with pizza guy on Thursday, since I had to reschedule last week. I'm not entirely sure still if I want to try to resurrect or start up something with him, or just completely swear off guys as I've been kinda saying I have (two months and counting!), just haven't formalized. Still need to sit and have a conversation about that with the coworker, but just haven't really wanted to. :P

Also have to get in to see my doc, get my jacket repaired (now that both zippers have busted), and get to the library. Maybe I'll get the bike out tomorrow and do the errands that way. Exercise! I need it. :P

Well, Digger's come in a few times to hint that it's past bedtime, so I'm off. Maybe more to come if anything interesting happens, but for now I'm just trying the hermit route. :)

I agree :)

Sorry for the lack of updates here... just been busy entertaining the ex- and some other family friends who were in town, plus working... hasn't left much time for sitting and thought-articulating.

Been a strange day today, involving my piercer (the other one who works at Classic, Dan), a guy from work who I trained once upon a time, and to some extent the coworker. I'm not going to go into detail on it now, 'cause I want to try to get a decent night's sleep, which I did and didn't do last night, and I figure I'll make time for it tomorrow. Hopefully.

But briefly, got the helix done, it's tender. Owie. I hit it a few times by accident, which sucked, and I can certainly feel it, but it's not too bad. Apparently I bled when it was done, which has been the same for most of my piercings (not the case for the navel or the lobes). *shrug* Doesn't worry me unless it's gushing and non-stop. :) Turns out that my navel has formed scar tissue but likely isn't rejecting, so I'll just be leaving it alone. If it does reject completely, then we'll see what happens.

I bought a yoga tape the other night when the ex- and I hit Chapters, and I did one of the two work outs on it this morning. Didn't seem too stressful, and I'm going to try to incorporate that and the Pilates tape into some kind of regular workout. When the weather finally balances out into usual summer for the area, then I'll hopefully expand my workout regime to include the great outdoors.

I'm also off from work for Monday through Thursday of next week. I still have class and yoga, but otherwise I'm just going to do what I can to pamper myself for a few days, get to see my doctor and change the meds, and otherwise simply relax and rejuvinate. Should be good. In the meantime, some reading and some bedtime. Night folks.

I'm just stupid in the head, I think. Just stupid in the head. I'd finally reached my decision, just gotta actually talk to the people involved, and made some minor allusions to it, and it seems the pizza guy isn't willing. If that's the case, after a more spelled-out conversation, then I'll just be single and enjoy it. I know that's what my boss/friend feels I should do. :)

The ex- is in town... he's being snuggly and cuddly and I'm letting it happen, but I'm holding myself kinda back from it. For some reason just now, I feel like crying. No reason behind it, just happened. I don't know... it just feels like I could fall into it so easily, but I'm trying not to. I'm still bothered by the idea of his ex- and the fact that they're still in touch... Maybe that's what's bringing on this emotional feeling. *sigh*

I don't know. I keep looking at the type of kiss I am, and it boils down to what I said awhile ago... I want to be able to be sweet and caring with someone, but I'm so busy either protecting myself or being angry/frustrated that I just can't be that person. That, and few people would be willing to say I was innocent. Naive, sure. Innocent? No.

*sigh* And I'm horny. Ah well... not desperately so, and not "I need to get fucked" so, but it exists.

I wish I could get away for awhile. I might take a week off from work and just hermit as much as I can (minus school and yoga, which I enjoy). I want to get some yoga equipment, including a tape or two, and get into that habit. Soon enough I'll break out the pilates tape and get back to doing that. So I say, that is. *sigh*

Which Kiss Are You?

I'm going to do it again... I picked the green eye colour... now I'll try with blue (my real eye colour).

*laugh* Okay, same results, even with different picks for a few questions. Guess it's me. :) Thanks Di. :)

I'm so tired. :( I don't know what time I went to bed, but I kinda not really screwed up on setting my alarm, so I was up earlier than intended, but it's okay. Going to see Star Whores... then go to work for a bit, then meet with my group members for a bit (hopefully not too long... I really don't want to be at work until two in the morning). *sigh* I go shower now, see if that wakes me up.

I wound up missing my 3:00 o'clock bus today, so I was running behind for my appointment and only got the jewelry changed. It's nice, it's smaller, so I think it'll be more comfortable, even though it still twists to the side. Ah well. The appointment for the helix is next week, and I may wind up moving it up, we'll see. It was Dan, not Ian, who changed my jewelry, and I've chatted with him on a number of occasions, and he seems pretty nice... I had this weird vibe of thinking I should ask him out on a date. :) We'll see if I decide to do it next week (which means naw, it's not going to happen).

The ex- is in town for a bit less than a week (got in yesterday afternoon), and I'm trying to figure out things from that end. I still feel like I've shut down, even to him, and I think he feels it, but he's not saying anything (yet) about it. I just ... even though I'm (kinda) not involved with anyone right now, since it's all up in the air, even though I am still more or less tied to the coworker since nothing official's been declared, and even though the ex- isn't involved with anyone, so I'm thinking, hey, it's kinda okay... it's kinda not. So, I don't want to get involved in a situation where I feel obligated to the ex- again and feel guilty if I start dating someone out here, even though he's going to be doing the same thing out there. I feel comfortable around him though, and it's nice to talk to him in person, since I just don't seem to like conversing online with some people as much as I used to (namely, the coworker and the ex-).

I had another thought in here, but now it's gone. Today feels like a Friday, instead of a Thursday, mainly because I was working and I don't usually do that, and everything just feels weekendy. Meh. I'm aiming for an early bedtime/early wakeup, since I'm going to see Star Whores tomorrow morning with the coworker and then off to work and then and then and then... longish day. Urgh. Then I get to work Saturday, Sunday, and Monday... I ask again, what's a holiday? *sigh* S'okay, time and a half, and I should really pester my boss again about that whole raise thing, since I think it's been three weeks now... Blah.

Got my marks for the last semester: a A+, two A-s, a B+, and a B. I think the B could've been higher, but I don't really care too much... one more year, and then I'm done for awhile, so I can't complain about that! :)

Anyhow, off to snuggle with the kitties, admire my new jewelry and read for a bit. :)

So, when left to my own devices, I am a complete and utter sloth. How do I know that? You ask (well, for the purposes of this narration, you do). Let's see... for the past two weeks or so, my average bedding-down time is around 2 - 3 a.m. When I try to get to sleep earlier than that (like when I have to get up in the morning, namely on Friday evenings), it doesn't work. Last night, I decided to crash at 3:15 a.m. I fell asleep not too long afterwards, and woke up around 7 a.m. when others were moving around, then finally got out of bed at 1 -- when my cell phone was ringing. I was lying in bed at the time, trying to figure out why I couldn't get back to sleep. Now, in my favour, I managed to get showered, dressed, dry my hair and on the 1:30 bus... although I wound up having a very late breakfast at Gurber King/McDick's as a result (Chicken Whopper Jr. from the first, chocolate shake from the second 'cause they didn't have shakes at the place I went to. :P)

Aside from that... got a phone call from Classic II, my piercing studio -- my jewelry has arrived. Yay! :) Ian, the piercer, said it's really nice, and kinda rounded, not a typical D-ring, so it should be comfortable. I'm also going to get a helix piercing done at the same time, and talk to him about my navel, as it's unfortunately growing out.

Turns out my articles for our group paper are useless, so I had to go to the library this afternoon and get some more. I think I have some good ones (and they're shorter than the last ones, yay!), so I'm going to get to work on that... gotta read 'em and write up some info on them for our paper. *sigh* The prof extended the due date for the paper, which is good, but it's still a bloody annoying paper. He says that all the groups usually get Ds on the first versions, and he lets us redo them, which is great... but when we have a paper due *next* week as well, who has time to be rewriting all the damn things? *sigh*

Anyhow, I'm off to get started on that stuff... at the lovely hour of 12:30. I can't help it; I got sucked into a good trashy romance novel that I bought the other day... the other one I finished earlier today wasn't that good, so I enjoyed this one even more as a result. :) I also need to figure out why my comments section appears to have disappeared... maybe I'll use the same software that Di has and rip even more ideas off of her. ;)

"Why do people run away from me?" (name that quote!)

Ah-hah! I knew I hadn't started this thing on February 1st... turns out its birthdate was Wednesday, January 9th... I just needed to fix up my archives access and all of that. I really am technologically inclined, I'm just stupid. ;)

Having a nice conversation with Ben right now about writing and such. He's got a great post right now over on unCultured, my other home, about movie theatres that I found absolutely hilarious, so we had a bit of a mutual admiration society going on. ;) In fact, here's a quote from that conversation (which I asked permission about posting first, don't worry):
"Jen, your life is very interesting to read about, even when there's not terribly much going on. It's not so much the unique things that happen to you that makes your articles neat, but rather the unique way in which you perceive whatever comes your way, and then the amusing ways you describe it all."

Funky compliments. I like. :)

There's a creative writing course I'd love to take at my university, but unfortunately it's just not feasible. I make take a college course or two later, or I may even go do an English degree at a later time... for now, I'm just working towards finishing off this communications degree and surviving the next few weeks of summer school.

The weather is being distinctly uncooperative about my summer get active plan. The ex- is going to be in town on Wednesday. I'm kinda horny, and hungry. I want to have tender, loving, passionate, sweaty, orgasmic sex. But right now, I don't really know if anyone's worth the effort. Sad? Probably. I miss that uncertainty and tension that comes with first knowing someone... that incredible feeling of arousal when you first start kissing and making out with someone... like you'd just die if they didn't touch you. Sometimes I think just feeling aroused is more fun than actually following through on it... until I follow through on it and remember/find out how much fun that is. ;)

A few people lately have talked to me about how much they admire my ability to be so open and forthright on this site. I keep telling them that it's easier on the 'net like this -- I don't have to deal with anyone's immediate reactions, which is both good and bad, and the people who are discussed in depth usually don't have the link to this site. I like getting feedback on what I write, and what I think and say -- it's nice to have someone say, "Hey, I know exactly what you're talking about" or, "Yeah, you *were* a raving psycho hose beast" (which thankfully, no one has done yet). Looking briefly back at my archives, I realized that I censored myself a fair bit back then -- like talking about a friend that I watched movies with and that he and I had perfected the art of wasting time and just being relaxed, not feeling like it was wasted... Well, that same friend and I, while stargazing, also went off and had funky naked sex in the woods (which actually started on top of his car). But I didn't say that back then, although I will now, 'cause I think it's one of my cooler sex moments, and definitely my first (and only) true outdoors one. :) The downside was the mosquito bites that I later discovered (thankfully restricted to my legs, feet and arms)... and they were especially unkind considering I'm allergic to mosquitos. Ugh. Anyhow, that's a tangent... what I was trying to say was that it was actually thanks to Di and later, Sami that I was able to be so open and honest... I saw what they were willing to put on their site (and Di's sister reads her site!), and it made me realize that I could choose what I write, and it doesn't have to be censored. So, that was pretty awesome. Thanks ladies. :) (And any complaints you have about my honesty can go to me. ;))

Geez, for someone who figured she didn't have anything to say, I've sure written a lot. I'm going to go to bed, read some trashy romance novels (on which I stocked up today), and do some random daydreaming before I go to bed. I need to get back into the real/regular bedtime hours, but they just don't seem to be happening anytime soon.

Oh, and as an aside... Jay, I've started checking your site regularly, and you've even earned a link on my site and toolbar at home... where's my link on your page? Di and Sami have one! ;)

"I takes a whiskey drink... I takes a vodka drink... and when I have to pee... I go in the kitchen sink!"
"It's Lisa! And she's winning us back!"
"Marge! Where's my pellet gun?" "In the tree!" "Oh, right."
"Oh! Not the good cheek!"

There was another line from that episode, something Homer said at the very end... I can't remember. Overall, damn funny. :)

Hey, 1047 hits! I saw it at 951 last, and now I'm nearly a hundred hits later. Since, according to the archives, I started this on February 1st, that means I've gotten over a thousand hits in three and a half months. It's not amazing for a public website, but this one is somewhat less so, and it's read basically by my friends (I think)... so, thanks! :)

Yesterday I ran into a few people I knew; one friend from high school on the bus, and then another friend from way back -- ysig days -- in the Rideau Centre. He looks more or less exactly the same. It was kinda funny. I remembered as I was leaving the conversation that I used to have a huge crush on the guy, although I knew we wouldn't work in a relationship (story with most of my crushes).

Tons of confusion in the world of relationships. I seem to be leaning towards the pizza guy, wanting to be with him, and yet I can't help but think I might be spending my time still looking if I was with him. Not fair to him. *sigh* I'm going to ask him if his offer is still open at least, and work from there. If it's not, then it's not, and that's where I have to go from. I also have to explain to the coworker what's going on, once I know for myself. *grumble* As if I have a clue. :) I just need to remember that chances are things aren't going to be much different from before, so the things that bothered me are still going to be there, and I'm trying to decide if they're worth it.

I've received a lot of compliments from people with whom I speak in real life (is there such a thing?), praising me on my openness and honesty on this site. Frankly, I'm pretty much as honest in face-to-face conversations, but not always. There is stuff on here that I can't say to people's faces, because there's a part of me that thinks it would be meaner to do so... although reality is starting to show me that sometimes what I think is cruel is actually kinder in the long run. Sometimes people do need to hear the mean stuff (and some people I know make sure I hear it in spades) to know where you stand.

I edited the daily show yesterday. That was kinda cool. I was chatting with the guys as they were recording and they asked me at one point if I was going through a dry spell, and I said, yes, by choice. They felt that was a stupid choice. :) However, here's to six weeks and counting, and I have to get ready for work. I don't think I'm making any of my choices based upon needing to get laid, since I'm not feeling that urgency. I'd like to, but I'm not dying without it.

I now have the joy of explaining to the coworker why it is that I haven't been climbing him recently. *sigh* Does no one else's libido dive every now and then, or am I some kind of weirdo?

You are Ned. You don’t always see yourself as a rebel, but in fact you are high on the list of counter cultural activity for you have no embarassment about championing your cause. You laugh in the face of taste and style. Only truth matters to you. You will cry out when the Emperor Has No Clothes. You might not approve of rebels but you surely have a cause. Ned Flanders would be proud of you.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/simpsons

Oh yeah, some grumpy thoughts I wanted to write about earlier:

The coworker and I got a pizza one Friday night when I was producing. We're standing in master control as I run the show, and I screwed something up. The coworker said that just for that, he was going to touch my ass. That pissed me off.

The next night, I got a drive home from a friend. He's offered to be my emergency dick in a glass before, but I'm just not attracted to him that way; I'd rather be his friend. He's seemed colder to me since he moved to tv, but ah well. We're both busy, and he's getting into that cult, so I try not to think too much of it. But anyhow, when he was driving me home that night, he kept saying that I had to give him a kiss at every red light we stopped at. That kinda pissed me off, but I tried to laugh it off. He kept pressing, and I kinda relented, but it still made me upset. I shouldn't have had to relent to crap like that, especially when he offered me the drive home -- I didn't ask for it at all.

I'm getting grumbly thinking about it again. Lots of things have made me grumbly lately though, and I don't know if I should be changing my meds or removing stresses or what. Probably all of the above. *grrr* :)

Anyhow, now I'm going to spank imps. :)

I guess if I expect to get more frequent hits, I should actually post something, no? ;)

I was thinking today that I've really closed down a lot of myself. A lot of myself. There's a girly side to me that likes to goof around with a boyfriend, that likes to be stupid and silly and cuddly and girly and weird... and I seem to have shut her away, because I don't know who I can trust to be like that around. The pizza guy is fun, and we joke around and we're smart together, but we're not really silly in that sense. We're goofy, but... well, if I was crying about something, I wouldn't turn to him. Like when I'm upset about Chloe being gone, I don't think of him as the one to call. He's as much as said that he doesn't deal well with crying women, so I try to avoid inflicting that part of myself on him. I mean, I'm sure I could go to him, but I just don't really think to, namely 'cause I have other people for that.

With the coworker, I don't really let myself out either. I can go to him if I'm upset about something, and he's not bad for that... sometimes he tells me things I don't want to or need to hear, but overall he's not bad. But again, I don't act all girly and stuff around him. I goof around with him, but not really the way I would with someone that was my boyfriend.

I guess the last person I had that with at all was the ex-, and I do miss that. I feel like if I found someone else and fell in love with them, I would trust enough to let that part out again. But I also wonder if I'm wrong to think that someone else can bring out the parts of me that I've locked down. Maybe I've read too many romance novels, or maybe society has gotten to me too much; I keep thinking all change has to come from within, and maybe that doesn't always have to be the case.

Maybe I don't have any answers, just questions. I think people can tell that to some extent I'm looking. I keep waffling on who I want to be with, and if I even want to be with anyone, 'cause yes, I know I don't have to be with anyone. :P I have some friends that have gone from one relationship to another and have no problem with it. Me, I feel like I need a break and yet I see the happy couples around me and I want to be part of one of them.

*sigh* It's too confusing and sucky. I'm just trying to avoid being spanked on my coursework and get that done and over with. I'd like to go back to Montreal, this time without being hobbled the second day so I can't and don't want to do much walking. ;) Maybe later in the summer, when the weather warms up, so I can roam in a skirt and just be comfortable and happy.

Still waiting on the jewelry for the new piercing. I'm not worried; he said a week to a week and a half, it's been about the week and a half mark now. My navel is rejecting, so I might see what he says about healing it and repiercing in the scar tissue, 'cause I think that would hold it in place. Otherwise, just take it out and say screw it. Also going to get my left helix done (the upper cartiledge in your ear), 'cause I think they're really pretty.

Had a nice chat with my (kinda not really) boss the other day about career prospects... I feel like he's perhaps looking out for me, which is pretty nice. It's a good feeling. :) He's offering me different avenues to consider, and encouraging me to shadow people at the station so that I can learn... he thinks I can learn everything I need to know from the people there, without doing extra schooling for it (which I'm planning on doing concurrently with my final year of my degree, so it's not adding any extra to my overall school time). I just figure that people who've gone through radio broadcasting will be looked at first by employers. I'm not exactly figuring I'll live out the rest of my life at the station I'm at now; at some point I'd like to live elsewhere in the country.

I had my yoga class, as I said. I got there late, so I felt really bad about that, but the class itself was kinda neat. You might not think it from looking and hearing about yoga: 'oh, it's all new agey and weird poses and stuff,' but it's actually a pretty good workout. I was straining at times, and I pulled some muscles, I think... but that's probably due mainly to me just being horribly out of shape. ;) Once the weather really warms up though, I'm going to do my best to get out biking and walking more. Maybe even take up running; there's a frightening prospect.

Ah well. I'm going to go spank some imps again and pack this in for now. Maybe I'll have more to say tomorrow. :)

Okay, the dream. I dreamt that H had been fired from her job and her ex-roommate's boyfriend (who was also a roommate) had been given the job, which was a little weird. I also dreamt that I ended up with T, the security guard (whom I'm not interested in any more)... we had a class together, and we hooked up through that. At one point we were in my bathroom, and I was taking a bath and he was checking me out or something, and then I convinced him to join me, and in my dream his body was different than in real life. In real life, he's quite built -- short and broad, muscly. In my dream, he was still muscly through the shoulders and chest, but he had a big gut and black hair on his stomach or something. It was rather weird. For some reason he started to look like Elvis, too, I think.

I've been kinda horny the last few days. Not enough for me to really do anything about it, but enough so I notice it.

I started classes last Wednesday. This class is going to be a hefty one. The prof has decided not to remove any elements of it, just 'cause it's a summer course and compressed... so it's just as if I was taking a full courseload, almost. There's that much to be done. :P

I start my yoga class tonight, we'll see how that goes. :)

Learned to drive stick on the weekend. That was kinda neat. I need to practice starting smoothly, which I can do when I have time, but can't do as well when I'm in traffic 'cause I go too quickly and screw up. I drove myself to work, shifting and everything. Yay me. :)

Anyhow, time to start the day. I'll try to be more interesting later. ;)

Which David Bowie are you?

I had a weird dream last night/this morning. I'll write about it when I get to work, 'cause I don't feel like sitting and typing it out right now, and the coworker's shift has changed, so he won't be there to read over my shoulder. ;)

There's something very nice about having someone say your name when they aren't mad at you or reprimanding you. :) Evening just having someone sleepy say, 'G'night Jen' is really nice. :)

Nice nice nice. Better than how I started out, which was weepy and sad. Had fun today, saw Spiderman, wiggled my butt around, skipped out on my class... oh boy is that class going to be tough. *sigh* Ah well, I'll make it through. I hope.

Going to spend tomorrow taking care of business all over and digging in my closet, since I already own the textbook for the class. Yay!

My cat's breath smells like cat food. :)

I showed a buddy of mine from work a picture of me, and he keeps going on how awesome it is. It's a few years old, from when I went to formal with the ex- at his university.

Anyhow, I don't have much to say right now. I've wanted to write updates the last few days, but just haven't had anything too interesting to say... as much as I'm sure people are riveted by my daily accounts of the little nuances of my life. On that subject, got a new bag (I don't want to call it a purse, but it really is). It's nice. :)

I'm going to go read for a bit and pack it in. I'm currently rereading the third Harry Potter book (read and finished the second one today), as well as Black Like Me, Manifesta (not the Scum Manifesto), and various trashy romance novels. All of that fun is likely soon to be overtaken by school reading. *grrr*

Okay, byebye. :)

I had a dream this morning that Chloe came home. I can't help but keep wishing.